The 5 Best Four Letter Words In Parenting

The 5 Best Four Letter Words In Parenting by Alvin Poh

Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks in the world. (i know everyone will agree!!) Unfortunately, more and more parents are opting for the easy way out and not promoting healthy development in their children. More and more parents are focusing on the intellectual development of the children, ignoring the psychological and sociological development. What should parent do in developing their children? Are there enough words to help develop a truly well rounded adult? Below you will find the best four letter words every parent should use to rear loving, competent, healthy, and happy children.

LOVE

You may not always like your children (especially when they misbehave), but you must always love them. It is important that parents tell their children often that they love them. All children go through periods of doubt, especially when they have committed some offense. Children do not always "know" that parents love them. If a parent cannot say the words, "I love you, to a child, something is wrong and the child will interpret it as rejection. Personally, every night before our two little ones (Ethel and Ethan) go to bed, I always make a point to whisper to their ears, tell them that 'Daddy loves them'. And it is a ritual that I do every day, unless I have to work late outside the home that night. And because of the little things that I do, I form an amazing relationship my two young children. For example, each time when I step into the house after a hard day work, the two of them will definitely rush to the door with their big happy smile - Ethan who is only 15 months will call out 'Papa, Papa!' and Ethel who is now 5- year-old will give me a fuzzy hug and me . They really melt my heart each time when they do that. Children who receive love at home will reciprocate to the world with love. And they will be welcomed and loved by many others.

TALK / DINE

Children want parents to talk with them, even when they say, "Nothing" or "I don't want to talk about it." How will a child know what is important in life if the parent does not talk to the child? One of the best times to talk with your child is during meal time. When you talk to your child, practice rephrasing questions so that they are open-ended, cannot be answered with "yes" or "no." Parents need to listen to their children and talking with them about their day even if the events may not seem important or educationally sound to you. I know many home experiencing the following: PARENT: "What did you do in school today?" CHILD: "Nothing" It is surprising how many parents believe that answer carte blanche. Many adults answer that question the same way when "work" is substituted for "school.", isn't it? The reason is simple, school is repetitive, the same subjects everyday. The child is just regurgitating an auto response. The teacher or teachers are teaching and the child is learning. Try reframing: "Did anything new, exciting, interesting or silly happen today?" The humor of the question will flip the auto switch off, and the choices will hit upon a memory. Unfortunately, many parents want to hear about the joys of arithmetic, writing, reading a classic. If parents will honestly recall their own childhood, they will remember that PE, art, recess were their favorite times, too. So let your child tell you about the interesting things that happened during their play or recess time. You will be amazed of how much he can share with you.

PLAY

Playing is a child's work. It is through play that a child discovers and develops certain skills. Playing is a child's version of stress release. And it is also one of the best ways that children learn. Unfortunately today, many parents think play is a waste of time. Play is fun for your children. It teaches them life lessons and skills such as decision making, decision making, self-worth, dignity, problem solving, sharing, patience, rhythm, reading, arithmetic, strategy, cause and effect, honor, self-esteem, etc. Anytime a child plays any game, even if alone, a valuable lesson is learned. Just because a self-absorbed workaholic parent cannot see that does not make it less true. It is even more important for children to have parents play with them.

WORK / EARN

Children need to learn that money, items, privileges, grades, etc. must be earned and not owed. Children get a true feeling of accomplishment when they work and earn something. A parent does not help a child by giving the child anything the child wants without earning it. A baby chick that is helped out of the shell instead of pecking its way out is not strong enough to survive. Similarly, it is true with children who never learn the value and accomplishment of earning something through work. During a recent friendly children coloring competition that Ethel (our daughter) participated, I saw a number of parents actually did the coloring for their kids. Yes these kids won the top few prizes, but what valuable lesson have these kids learned? Nothing! Their parents had in fact taken away the fun from them for participating in the event. What a shame. Also, some parent complete their children's homework because their children say it is too difficult. This is certainly not a right practice to help a child to grow and develop. Instead, work with the child, reframe his mind, teach him to ask the teacher for help, but do not complete the assignment for the child. The only lesson a child learns from the above example is the parent can be tricked into doing the his homework.

HOPE

Children need to know that "the sun will come out tomorrow. Children need to know that no matter how hard a situation becomes it will get better, it might take some time, but it will get better. Children need to know that they are a parent's hope for the future. The parent knows the world will be better because they are in it. The truth is because of hope the world will get better.