Solehah kah aku?

Waktu masih muda belia dan anak dara dulu, Mama Mia seringkali mendengar lagu "isteri solehah" yg dialunkan oleh sebuah kumpulan nasyid terkenal suatu masa dulu.

"Isteri cerdik yg solehah
Penyejuk mata
Menawan hati
Penajam fikiran
Dirumah dia isteri
di jalanan kawan
di waktu kita buntu
dia penunjuk jalan"..

Waktu tu..bila nak release tension ataupun saja2 pergi rehlah dgn kawan2 di waktu cuti semester, kami akan sering mengalunkan nasyid tersebut berulang kali tanpa jemu. Selain irama yg sedap didengar dek telinga, bait2 senikatanya yg sgt indah seakan2 memberi inspirasi kepada kami semua untuk menjadi "isteri solehah" yg ideal kepada suami yg kami pun tak pasti siapakah gerangannya ketika itu.

Kami seakan2 bejanji antara satu sama lain, akan berusaha untuk menjadi isteri solehah yg mempunyai ciri2 sepertimana yg digambarkan oleh nasyid tersebut. Pernah satu ketika, diri ini hampir2 nak mengambil keputusan untuk tidak berkerjaya di luar rumah, semata2 untuk menjadi isteri solehah. Hebat kan penangan nasyid tersebut? Mungkin pada ketika itu, fikiran masih belum matang dan agak naif dlm rencah serta asam garam kehidupan berkeluarga. :)

Rupanya...tak semudah itu untuk menjadi isteri solehah, kan? Tak semudah menyapu rumah, membasuh pakaian, memasak lauk pauk. Namun, ia juga tak sesukar mana jika kita betul2 faham konsepnya dan berusaha ke arah itu. Sebenarnya, jika seseorang perempuan atau isteri kembali kepada fitrah dan naluri semulajadi seorang wanita sebagaimana yg telah diciptakan oleh Allah, usaha untuk menjadi seorang isteri yg solehah akan menjadi lebih mudah unutk dilaksanakan. Ini kerana, antara ciri utama isteri solehah ialah ketaatan dan kepatuhan terhadap suami yg tidak berbelah bagi, selagimana ianya tidak menggugat ketaatan isteri terhadap Allah. Sounds simple, right? Tapi inilah ciri yg paling sukar untuk dipenuhi oleh kebanyakan wanita yg bergelar isteri, termasuklah MAMA MIA sendiri!!

Termasuk di bawah cakupan "ketaatan dan kepatuhan" ini juga ialah MENSYUKURI DAN MENGHARGAI SUAMI. Hmmm...adakah dgn mengucapkan "thanks dear" bila dapat hadiah yg diidamkan pada hari ulangtahun kelahiran ataupun perkahwinan sudah memadai untuk diklasifikasikan sebagai "mensyukuri dan menghargai suami"?? Kalau benarlah begitu, tidaklah Rasulullah s.a.w. mengingatkan kaum wanita bahawa merekalah yg akan mendominasi neraka disebabkan "kufur 'asyir" (derhaka kpd suami ataupun tdk mempunyai hubungna yg baik dgn suami).


Sebenarnya, kebanyakan isteri tidak kurang ilmu tentang perkara ini, namun hubungan antara suami dan isteri ini tak seindah pelangi. Bahkan, bagi mencapai tahap "solehah" tersebut, usaha dan inisiatif yg berterusan perlu ada dari kedua2 pihak, iaitu suami dan isteri. Bagaimanalah isteri mampu untuk menjadi solehah jika suami itu sendiri tidak soleh?


But last but not least...sudah cukup solehahkah diri Mama Mia ini?????????

Gangsterism di sekolah: Salah siapa??

Sepuluh tahun yg lalu, jarang sekali kita mendengar atau membaca berita mengenai kejadian gaduh, pukul, serang guru, rogol dan juga khalwat di sekolah yg dilakukan oleh para pelajar. Kita masih merasakan, pada ketika itu, bahawa masyarakat Malaysia khususnya Melayu masih mempunyai nilai2 akhlak dan moral yg tingi. Anak-anak kita belum lagi hanyut dan lemas dalam gelombang modernisasi dan sekularisasi yg tidak lagi menjadikan moral serta milai2 murni sebagai sesuatu yg utama untuk dipertahankan dan diamalkan. Kita, pada ketika itu, sering mendabik dada, mengata2 betapa teruknya keadaan moral anak2 di negara maju dan Barat, terutamanya Amerika Syarikat. Tidak pernah terlintas di fikiran kita, pada ketika itu, bahawa gejala yg sama akn kita hadapi dan anak2 kita mungkin akan jadi lebih parah dari itu.

Namun sekarang, keadaan sudah jauh berbeza. Apa kurangnya anak2 kita berbanding mereka nun jauh di Barat? Ibarat meludah ke langit, jatuh ke muka sendiri, kita juga berdepan dgn masalah moral yg sgt2 meruncing. Hampir setiap hari sebenarnya ada saja kes gangsterism yg berlaku di sekolah, meskipun tidak semuanya dilaporkan ke pihak berkuasa. Sebagai ibu bapa yg mempunyai anak yg bersekolah, acapkali terdetik di hati kita kebimbangan akan keselamatan anak2 yg dihantar menuntut ilmu di sekolah. Mungkin ada suara yg mencadangkan "homeschooling" sebagai solusi untuk kita memastikan anak2 kita selamat dpd ancaman dan anasir2 yg tidak diingini. Namun, yg jelas, ia ibarat seorang doktor yg memberi ubat untk simptom sesuatu penyakit, bukan ubat untuk menghilangkan atau menyembuhkan penyakit tersebut.

Justeru, apa yg lebih penting adalah dgn mencari ubat untuk menghilangkan "penyakit" tersebut serta menguatkan "antibodi" tubuh. Namun siapakah yg bertanggungjawab untuk mengatasi masalah ini? Sudah tentu ianya bukan tanggungjawab guru atau pihak berkuasa semata2. Kita memerlukan komitmen dari semua pihak; termasuklah ibu dan keluarga, guru dan sekolah, masyarakat sekeliling serta kerajaan. Jika terdapat mana2 pihak yg lepas tangan atau menangani masalah ini sambil lewa, nescaya usaha untuk membendung gejala ini tidak akan membawa sebarang hasil.

Sudah masanya semua pihak memainkan peranan yg lebih proaktif dan komited. Akar permasalahan ini perlu dikenalpasti dan diperhalusi. Pokok pangkalnya, pendidikan yg berteraskan akhlak perlu menjadi dasar pendidikan di setiap ruang lingkup dan persekitaran anak2, serta budaya hedonisme mesti dikikis dari terus menjadi ikutan anak2 muda. Jangan salahkan globalisasi atau perkembangan teknologi yg memang jelas tidak boleh dihentikan. Akan tetapi, salahkan diri kita sendiri yg tidak pandai membawa diri dalam arus ini. Sudah masanya sistem pendidikan kita dirombak agar penekanan terhadap pembangunan sahsiah dan moral menjadi dasar utama, dan bukannya berapa banyak bilangan A yg dapat diperolehi oleh pelajar setiap kali menjalani peperiksaan utama. Daripada bertelagah bahasa apakah yg patut menjadi medium pembelajaran dan pengajaran bagi subjek2 tertentu di sekolah, lebih baik tumpukan usaha untuk menyelamatkan masa depan dan akhlak pelajar. Daripada sibuk berusaha menyelamatkan masa depan bahasa atau warisan kebudayaan bangsa, lebih baik memikirkan masa depan anak2 kita.

Dunia...

Dah lama rasanya tak post something dlm blog yg bersifat virtual open diary ni. Selain daripada tanggungjawab dan tugasan harian sebagai ibu, isteri, dan juga pelajar, sibuk juga memikirkan masalah umat dan negara. Polemik politik yg berlaku sekarang ini juga menarik perhatian Mama Mia. Bukannya Mama Mia ni minat sgt dgn politik, namun Mama Mia rasa terpanggil juga untuk mengikuti perkembangan politik yg kurang sihat di Malaysia dewasa ini.

Dua malam yg lalu, semasa Papa baca kitab lama al-Raniri berjudul "Durar al-Faraid", terjumpa sesuatu yg sgt menarik. al-Raniri, seorang ulama' tanah Melayu yg masyhur dan terbilang, menjangkakan bahawa umur dunia tidak lebih daripada 1500 tahun HIjrah setelah kewafatan Rasulullah s.a.w. Menakutkan bukan? Kalau dihitung...berapa puluh tahun saja lagi. Dan jika benarlah ramalan atau jangkaan ini, maka kita sekarang betul2 diambang akhir zaman.

In conjunction with this, saya teringat kembali kata2 professor saya semasa belajar subjek "I'jaz al-Qur'an" (Keajaiban al-Qur'an) dulu. Kata beliau, ada ulama' yg membuat kesimpulan berdasarkan kronologi confrontation antara Yahudi dan Muslim, yg selari dgn kiraan sebutan perkataan "yahudi" dlm al-Qur'an, bahawa kemungkinan besar, akan berlaku peperangna besar antara Yahudi dan Muslim around tahun 2020 or 2021 kelak. Pada ketika itu, Muslim akan bangkit dan menang. Namun, tak lama selepas itu, Muslim akan jatuh semula dan iman kaum Muslimin akan mula terhakis. Ketika itulah kejatuhan yg kekal yg tak akan dpt diselamatkan lagi.

Jika tepatlah apa yg ditulis oleh al-Raniri...dan jika dibandingkan dgn teori dlm i'jaz al-Qur'an tu...maknanya kita dah takda masa yg banyak lagi! Sungguh menakutkan. Lebih menakutkan jika terfikir...adakah anak and cucu kita berjaya mempertahankan iman mereka kelak?

Mudah2an Allah melindungi kita semua dari fitnah dajjal dan akhir zaman. Amin.

Kasihan..

Petikan Berita Harian, 4 Feb2009

Ibu di Gaza tahan hasrat bersalin

Berikutan terperangkap akibat serangan Israel

BAYANGKAN kesakitan yang perlu ditanggung ramai golongan ibu warga Palestin yang sarat mengandung kerana sanggup menahan diri daripada melahirkan anak berikutan bimbang bayi yang dilahirkan itu kelak mati akibat serangan roket atau bom fosforus Israel.

Golongan ibu malang ini dikatakan sengaja menahan diri daripada rasa ingin bersalin menyebabkan mereka mengalami kesakitan melampau selain bayi dikandung berdepan risiko hampir lemas di dalam perut.
Bagaimanapun kebanyakan golongan ibu berkenaan yang terperangkap di dalam rumah mereka di kawasan perkampungan yang diserang rejim Zionis berjaya diselamatkan sebelum dibawa ke hospital untuk menerima rawatan.

Seorang daripada mereka, Baayah El-Kudsi, 28, berkata, dia yang sepatutnya melahirkan bayi akhir Disember lalu terpaksa menahan hasrat ke hospital selepas perkampungan Deir El Balah yang didiami diserang bertalu-talu dengan roket.

Katanya, serangan roket dan bom daripada helikopter Apache dan jet F-16 Hornet tentera Zionis itu menyebabkan dia dan ibu mentuanya hanya mampu berlindung di sebuah bilik bawah tanah di rumahnya itu.

"Serangan berkenaan yang berlaku tidak kira masa berlarutan lebih seminggu menyebabkan kami terus terperangkap dengan hanya berbekalkan roti kering dan botol minuman berisi air. Ketika itu, bayi dalam kandungan saya mula turun ke rahim dan menandakan tempoh melahirkan semakin dekat," katanya.

Katanya, dia yang bimbang bayinya terkorban atau terhidu debu fosforus sedaya upaya menahan rasa sakit supaya bayinya itu terus berada di dalam perut.

"Keadaan ketika itu tidak mengizinkan saya untuk melahirkan bayi berikutan tiada doktor dan peralatan perubatan. Saya bimbang bayi saya akan mati jika niat itu diteruskan," katanya.

Beliau berkata, selepas dua minggu melawan rasa ingin bersalin, dia akhirnya dibantu oleh seorang petani sebelum dihantar menaiki sebuah lori sayur ke Hospital Al-Quds untuk bersalin.. Bayi itu dinamakan Bilal Jariun (berani),

Sementara itu, Wartawan Berita Harian yang berkunjung ke Hospital Pediatrik al-Nasser mendapati rata-rata bayi yang dirawat di hospital berkenaan masih keadaan lemah dan diberi rawatan rapi akibat dilahirkan terlalu awal atau terlalu lewat.

Kasihan sungguh...dpt bayangkan betapa terseksanya dan merananya ibu2 di sana. Teringat wktu nk melahirkan fichita hampir 3 bln lalu....jika dibandingkan dgn ibu2 di sana, keadaan mama mia berpuluh2 kali ganda lbh baik dan penuh kenikmatan. Syukur.

No specific title...

Ironically, since I have my own internet line account, I felt quite "tak berapa rajin" to update this blog or post new entries. Hmmm....that's human nature, biasanya, sebelum dpt sesuatu, punyalah bersemangat, tetapi bila dah ada tak dihargai dan digunakan sebaik mungkin.

Orang kata...begitu juga halnya dlm perhubungan. Apabila lelaki dan wanita hangat bercinta, biasanya makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena selagi tak berada dekat dgn pasangannya. Namun, bila sudah berkahwin, sebaliknya yg berlaku. Jika selalu dekat dan dek kerana tiap2 hari nampak muka..akhirnya kebosanan mula melanda. Betul ke mcm tu? Entahlah...

Perangai manusia memang sukar dijangka dan diduga. kadangkala...apabila kita baru berasa hampir2 memahami seseorang, kita mungkin akan dikejutkan dgn sikap2 dan reaksi2 baru yg tak pernah kita jangkakan. Tak kiralah berapa lama kita kenal akan seseorang...sebenarnya masih banyak sisi individu tersebut yg kita tak dpt fahami dan kenali.


Oleh kerana itulah mengenali hati budi seseorang merupakan satu proses yg panjang, a never-ending journey. Mungkin keperibadian seseorang yg kita kenali lima tahun yg lalu boleh berubah 360 darjah sekarang. Faktor rakan pergaulan, persekitaran, lingkungan hidup, didikan dan pengalaman boleh memberi impak terhadap perkembangan keperibadian seseorang individu, secara sedar ataupun tidak.

Kadang kala, personaliti kita juga berubah, meskipun kita tak menyedarinya. Apabila berlaku sesuatu konflik dalam perhubungan atau ketika berinteraksi dgn org lain, kita seringkali menuding jari terhadap pihak lain. Hakikatnya, kita sendiri yg sukar dimengerti dan telah berubah personaliti.

Boikot...

Ini merupakan sebahagian brands yg perlu diboikot untuk kita menjalankan tanggungjawab kita sebagai Muslim bg membantah kekejaman Zionis. Sejauhmanakah kita dpt melaksanakannya?

AOL, Time, WarnerApax Partners & Co Ltd, Coca-Cola,Danone, Delta, Galil,Disney,Estée Lauder,IBM, Johnson & Johnson, Kimberly-Clark, Lewis Trust Group Ltd, L'Oreal, Marks & Spencer, Nestle, News Corporation, Nokia, Revlon, Sara Lee, Selfridges The Limited ,IncHome Depot, Intel, Starbucks, Timberland, McDonald's dan Arsenal FC"

I have to admit

I have to admit.
I'm NOT a superwoman.
I have to accept my limitations, my weaknesses.
I can't force myself to do the things that I can't do;
to accomplish the things that I can't even start;
to take on responsibility that I can't bear.

I have to admit.
After more than 30 years living in this world,
enjoying all the bounties from God;
I am just a slave of Him,
who constantly hope for His Blessings and Love to keep going on.

I have to admit.
I've got nothing to complain.
Allah has blessed and trusted me with three children;
to nurture them to be the successful, pious believing man and women.
I have a very caring and loving family,
who always support me to go through the painstaking obstacles.
I've been privileged
to enjoy the company and care from my better half

I have to admit.
Life is not a bed of roses.
Happiness and sadness fluctuate every now and then.
There is no short cut to success.
The journey of life is absolutely a never-ending story
of laughs, smiles and tears.

I have to admit.
I'm not a superwoman.
This oft-cheerful lady needs a break,
needs a shoulder to cry on,
needs spending some time in solace
in order to move on.


-ummuwafi, 16th December 2008-

"Grasp the Cup of Life with both hands and drink deeply....
savour every drop and look forward for more".

Tenang....

Alhamdulillah....

tenang....

pasrah....

tawakal...

Hari ini.

Apa nak jadi...

Hari minggu yg lepas, Mama mia secara tak sengaja tertengok sebuah rancangan ujibakat realiti TV mencari penyanyi yg terkini di TV3. Mmg bukan sesuatu yg ditunggu2..cuma mlm tu...mcm kepenatan, tapi nak tidor awal, blm ngantuk sgt. Almaklumlah...sejak ngandung nie, Mama Mia mmg kena penyakit tidor lewat mlm, selagi jarum jam ta mencecah pukul 12 mlm....tak masuk bilik tidurlah. 

Rancangan tersebut menayangkan proses ujibakat yg diadakan si seluruh negara Malaysia ini. Wah..mcm satu misi yg sgt hebat..lebih hebat dan happening dpd misi mencari angkasawan. Al-kisahnya...berbondong-bondonglah warga Malaysia yg teringin sgt nak bergelar penyanyi dtg ke audition session yg kebanyakannya diadakan di pusat membeli belah yg besar. Kebanyakan dpd mereka tu masih remaja...kalau tak pun pemuda pemudi yg sepatutnya menjadi harapan bangsa, ibu pertiwi dan agama untuk menjadi generasi pelapis yg akan mengembangkan lagi tamadun dan pembangunan negara. 

Amat menyedihkan melihatkan pemuda-pemudi nie yg tanpa segan silu dan tak sedar diri mencuba nasib, walaupun mereka mmg tahu sejak azali lagi mereka TAKDA bakat langsung menyanyi. Tak dinafikan...ada sesetengah gelagat mereka agak menghiburkan hati...sebab dgn selambanya dan muka tebalnya menyanyi pitching lari...tak ikut tempo dan tak hafal lirik. Tak usah kata juri..Mama Mia yg tau serba sedikit ilmu muzik dan baca note (sebab belajar di zmn sekolah rendah dulu) ni pun tau, diorang tak boleh langsung menyanyi. Ada pula yg sanggup merayu-rayu juri, mcm org merayu nak minta makan sebab kebuluran, semata2 tak puas hati dna perasan yg diri itu berbakat dan mempunyai peluang yg cerah untuk jd superstar...heheh. Kesian.

Mama mia bukannya nak mengutuk mereka...tapi sebenarnya deep inside my heart, rasa sedih gak....kalau mcm nilah generasi muda Malaysia....terlalu obses dgn glamour, obses sgt nak jadi artis..leka dgn hiburan...tak mustahil setakat nie ajelah pembangunan dan kemajuan yg akan kita kecapi di negara kita nie. Jgn haraplah nak capai Wawasan 2020 ker...Wawasan 2030 ker....

Mama mia juga rasa takut..sebab, terfikir...mcm manalah nak mendidik dan membesarkan anak2 cucu kelak jika inilah trend dan obsesi masyarakat muda kita hari ini. Mama mia berdoa..semoga Allah lindungi dan jauhi anak2 dan zuriat dpd terpengaruh dgn anasir2 dna budaya sebegini. Sunggh mencabar rasanya nak membesarkan anak di zaman sekarang nie...

  

Things in your life

” In life, only take the things you need, not the things you want”.

When I first came across this nice wordings, I started to think of my own life and journey in this world. The first question that boggles my mind until now is 'Do I really have with me all the things that I really need and should have?'.

But of course, that initial question has potentially grown and extended to a list of more complex questions that forced myself to ponder upon all the things that I posses and to contemplate on my own lifestyle. Unfortunately, the list of questions and the sincere answers of them eventually lead me to a very scary and terrifying conclusion: I did bring along with me the unnecessary things in my life...and I did take the unnecessary things that I wanted in my life!!

Ya Rabbi...how could I be so blind all this time? How much had I wasted my time, energy and money on things that I actually don't really need? I never realized then that almost 50% of all the things that I have until now are as a matter of fact don't fall in the category of 'hajiyyaat' and 'dharuriyyaat'. And almost 20% of all my possessions can be categorized as the 'tahsiniyyat'. This striking fact indicates that most of the things that I have are based on 'I want', not 'I need'.

I know that I must do something to stop having the unnecessary things in my life, the things that surely cannot bring any benefit to my iman to Allah. And the solution is undeniably the concept of 'qana'ah', as practiced by Rasulullah and His Companions. However, it's easier to say than to practice it. But this shouldn't be an excuse for not trying to start practicing it gradually in my life, right?

Malaysians Reading Habit...

Last weekend, the whole family went to the annual KL International Bookfair at PWTC. There were a lot of visitors, from babies to grannies, from all walks of life. Despite the never-ending dizzy spells, I insisted on going to the fair, with one purpose, to find books and reading materials for me and the kids.

Alhamdulillah, we've found several worth buying academic books. The kids were so happy with the Islamic foundation and Goodwords' books that we bought. We also found the 1Islam production vcds for children, which I have been searching for so long. In short, I think that our visit to KLIBF this year is quite rewarding.

Having said that, I observe that MOST of the visitors to the book fair went out from the venue empty-handed. It means that they buy nothing at the biggest book fair in Malaysia. Should they have bought something, the only reading materials that they bought were magazines and comics! Or they only had a handful of pamphlets and brochures with them as they walked out the book fair. This proves that Malaysians indeed have less interest in reading and buying books.

It is also sad to see scenes of lovey-dovey couple of youngsters who misused this book fair as a place to dating! How could they think that a book fair is a nice and cosy place to date? I guess, going to the book fair is the most approved and sensible reason for them to get permission from their parents to go out and meet their heartthrob.

If Malaysians still have this kind of reading habit and awareness, how could we be a more developed and literate society?

Sufiah oh Sufiah...

Sana sini orang sibuk cakap pasal Sufiah. Sometimes berminat gak nak dengar, sometimes naik muak pun ada. But above all, deep down in my heart, I feel so scared...I keep on asking God's Guidance and Protection everytime I hear or read about this once a prodigy.

This morning, I accidentally watched a morning show on Channel 9. Again, the main topic discussed by the compeers was Sufiah. This time around, they invited an expert in psychology, asking her opinion and comments on this controversial issue. Well, what I learnt from her was the importance of balancing between academics and social needs of children. She suggested that parents shouldn't confine the concept of learning and the meaning of success to academics alone. Parents should never expect too much from their children, to the extent that they are actually pushing the children too hard.

I guess what she suggested was true. However, she was also unsure of the factors and reasons of Sufiah's drastic change of attitude. But, she did stress on the essential of letting our children play, meet and mingle with other children and being exposed to the real life outside the house.

Oh....again, all these make me scared...so scared....can I succesfully raise my children to become a true Muslim and Mu'min?

Hidup...

Hidup ini susah kita nak duga
Kadang-kadang kita rasa dekat sangat dengan seseorang
Tapi sebenarnya jauh...
Walaupun kita dapat capai dan genggam tangannya
Tapi belum tentu hati dia dapat kita selami...
Mungkin kita dapat buat dia ketawa
Tapi kita tidak tahu apa makna senyumannya...
Bila dia menangis
Kita sangka kita dapat memujuknya
Walhal kehadiran kita langsung tidak disenangi...
Rencah dunia...
Kita takkan tahu
Siapa kawan dan siapa lawan
Sehinggalah sampai satu masa kita jatuh...
Adakah tangan itu menghulurkan bantuan
Atau kita akan ditinggalkan...

Updates...from the voice a mom..

Alhamdulillah... at last, I manage to spend some time sitting on this study desk and post something on this blog. For the last few days...I was really occupied with 'spending most of my time lying on the couch in front of the TV'. The morning sickness, -which I bet is no more suitable to be called so, since it does attack regardless time of the day- had brought chaos in my daily routine and activities. The dizziness; the sudden dislike to all kind of food except green apples, plums, oranges , pears and crispy toasted breads; the unbearable hate to onions, cooking oils and the aroma of cooking; all these are enough to make my life go haywire.

I feel so pity for the kids. This pregnancy has a great impact on everyone in the family. Luckily the kids have never lodged any complaints about Mama didn't cook, didn't help them with homeworks, etc. Maybe, the thrills and excitements of getting a new sibling make them willing to accept the fact that Mama is being inefficient as a mother lately.

The books? Well.. forget it. I haven't read or even touch any book or reading material since last week. But I don't want to think much about it right now since I don't want to make my life more stressfull. I just need to make myself "normal" again a.s.a.p, so that I can resume my writing and reading. So at this moment, even though it will take several more weeks, I will just enjoy this gift from Allah- the chance for me to sleep the whole day, craving for food that I can eat, asking for a massage from my better half- hehehhe. And for Mimi's information, my golden color Sony Viao laptop is no longer the gadget that I love most. Now, the things that will always be my side through thick and thin are the Losyen Mustajab Pati Halia (untuk sapu kat badan bila terasa masuk angin and mabuk) and the asam boy (makan bila terasa nak loya).

Alamak...got to rest for a while. Mcm dah mula mabuk nie...



Ok. After applying some losyen halia, I'm feeling much better. Now, enough about myself. I'm going to talk about the kids.

Wafitos is doing quite well in his recent test at school. He scores A in all subjects except Arabic and Pendidikan Islam. I didn't push him to score A...but alhamdulillah, he had his own initiative to learn and do revision prior the test. He didn't do well in Pendidikan Teras Islam (actually Mama malu jugak...dpt 60% jer) simply because he didn't understand the questions, since the questions were all in Malay Language. Knowing the fact that Wafitos is not so fluent in Malay, so it's acceptable for him getting only C in that particular subject. Actually it's quite hard for him to understand even the phrases 'menunaikan zakat, mengucap dua kalimah'. So, his father has to translate the lessons to English and explain to him in English. The problem now is, he can only understand the lessons in English. But sometimes, I think that translating the lessons to English is not the best way to teach him, cos' after all, teachers will teach in Malays and the exam questions will be in Malay too. If anyone can help me with some tips how to handle this problem...please feel free to give us some advice.

Wafitos has been exposed to English Islamic books long before he could read and write. That's why he's quite terbiasa with terms and phrases in English. He knows selected stories of the prophets, but he can only re-tell them in English. Actually, his English is not excellent, it's just that he is more comfortable conversing in that particular languange.

After some thoughts, I may conclude that I fail in trying to make my kids bilingual. At last, they end up in the middle- not too good in either language, English nor Malay-. I think I must find a new method to teach the coming soon child inshaAllah.

Well, there's another intriguing story. Actually it's not that intriguing, but it's rather disturbing. (Sorry, nak gi ambil asam kejap. mulut ni rasa lain mcm jer...pause kejap yer)

Ok I'm back. Tak jadi makan asam...I makan plum jer. sedapnya...yg masam cicah ngan garam sikit. U know, when I was doing my degree overseas, I love eating plums and peaches during spring and summer. Believe it, sekali makan dok dpn tv, boleh habiskan sekilo dua, non-stop. Then muka pun jadi warna peach...heheh.

Actually I'm quite worried with the way Wafitos' Maths teacher teach the kids Maths. One day last week, the teacher asked each and every students to MEMORIZE addition table. The next day, she will ask them one by one. I do was very shocked to hear that. As far as I know, it's not the appropriate method to ensure the students can addition sums correctly and quickly. There are many other ways to make them see the patterns of addition and adding numbers logically and correctly. But certainly, MEMORIZING is not applicable in Maths.

I may not an expert in education or teaching and learning, but I did attend courses on T&L for the past three years in the University which I'm attached to. Memorizing 1+3+4, 1+5+6....so on, actually is a waste of time. So, instead of helping Wafitos to memorize, I teach him the patterns of addition. I explain to him that whatever number is added to one, the answer must be the next number. Whatever number being added with O, the answer must be that same number. So at last, alhamdulillah...he could actually do the sums without memorizing "membuta tuli" as suggested by his teacher, with my intervention.

Oh...it's so hard to be a Mom nowadays. Being a mom is like being a General Manager or a CEO of a big company. There are so many things boggle your mind, so many thoughts brewing in your head. It's really a never-ending position or job. Once you accepted this job, you'll stick to it for the rest of your life. No retrenchment scheme, no quitting, no pension, and the worst of all, not even an off day.

After being a mom, I understand why Islam forbids women to be the head of a country (Prime Minister or Queen or President). It's not because of women are less competent than men or women are weak, but it's because Allah has given women the more important, noble and complex executive job than being Prime Minister, which is being a mother. Who says a mom is nothing compared to a P.M? Let us compare between a mom and a P.M. Does a mom has many other ministers to help her taking care of her family affairs? Does a mom just give out orders to other people to carry out her missions? I bet all the answers are NO.

Who is the Education Minister in a family?
Who is the Minister of Entertainment in a family?
Who is the Minister of Solidarity and Family Development in a family?

So, that's why. When Islam forbids women to be elected as the head of country, it's merely because women are more competent and capable of managing the family affairs than men. No one is more suitable for the job other than women. That's why, those women who fight for equality, or fight to become a leader is actually those who don't realize their own privileges given by Allah to them. It's so sad to see them fighting for something that is not suitable for them, and abandoning their own privilege.

Ok. I think it's enough for this time. The couch has been waiting for me.....

Maulidurrasul....

The blessed day of Maulidurrasul was celebrated with joy and varieties of so-called Islamic programs was held all across the country. The annual gatherings in every states, forums, talks, nashid concerts and so on were among the routine of this important day for the Muslims. The question is, are these the most proper and right way to celebrate the birth of the last Prophet of mankind? Are these sufficient for the Muslims to show their gratitudes, love and respect towards their beloved Prophet?

Celebrating Maulidurrasul in such ways is neither unlawful nor prohibited. However, we must bear in mind that one of the ways to show our love to Rasulullah s.a.w. is by following his Sunnah as much as we can in our everyday lives. Following the Sunnah is also not only restricted to personal matters, ibadah and family affairs. We shouldn't confine the true concept of Sunnah to trivial matters such as polygamy, the way we dress, keeping the moustache, etc. As a matter of fact, the Sunnah of Rasulullah transcends politics, administration, etc. Sunnah comprises every aspects of life and relevant enough to be followed and implemented till the end of the world.

Thus, we should try to understand Sunnah profoundly and correctly. This is due to the rising numbers of Muslims who misunderstood the Sunnah or distort it to justify their needs and acts. When Rasulullah s.a.w. said that we, Muslims couldn't go astray from the right path of Islam if we hold on to al-Qur'an and Sunnah, it means that provided we understand the true meaning and spririt of Sunnah, InshaAllah we will we safe.

May Allah subhanahu wa Taala bless upon our beloved Prophet, and place him in the place that he most deserved.

Hikmah....Revealed

When I had to choose between pursuing my own ambition studying in UK and giving priority to my family six months ago, I was so clueless about the 'hikmah' of this dilemma. Thus, like a small child who whined for a cone of her favourite ice-cream for days but the ice-cream was snatched from her and was thrown into the dustbin the moment she really wanted to start licking the ice-cream, I was so frustrated and down. I spent days and nights crying over the "ice-cream", attempting to console my frustration and searching the justification of it.

And now, I'm still crying, yet for another totally different reason: it's no more crying over the "ice-cream", but I'm crying for finally realizing the 'hikmah' Allah Taala has revealed to me. I'm crying because I was so ashamed towards God for my ignorance of His Wisdom and my distrust towards Him being the All-Knowing.

Now, after 6 months, the 'hikmah' of me staying here in Malaysia to further my studies has been revealed gradually. Seeing my husband climbing the stairs of success in his career path is a clear evident to me that my sacrifice 6 months ago was not useless. Watching the kids growing and studying in an Islamic school with a good tarbiyyah from the teachers, starting a strong fond towards nasyid and al-Qur'an, and forgetting all the linking park's and avril lavinge's songs, is enough to make me so content. Having the opportunity to visit and serve my parents, share their fears and happiness as well as lending my ears for their problems and nags, and spending an enjoyable holiday with them, are some of the good deeds that I would surely miss if I went to UK.

And right now, as one my siblings is struggling to overcome the worst times in her life, the 'hikmah' has became clearer than ever. As the eldest child in a family who always support each other through thick and thin, this is the time that I'm most needed by my parents and sister. Had I gone to UK, I wouldn't carry out the responsibility of "kakak sulong", who had been the one whom the other siblings turned to in needs.

I thank Allah for revealing this hikmah for me. I thank Allah for still giving me opportunity to make all my beloved persons happy and carry out my responsibility towards my family members. I don't mind if I can't improve my English by studying in England. I don't mind if I can't learn new things in a new environment. As long as I can 'berbakti' towards my family, it's enough to me. Most importantly, I don't want to waste three years of my life without spending happy moments with my parents and siblings.

Paradigm Shift.....on Life

Many a times we feel that of all the people in this world, we are the least fortunate ones. Every now and then, we may also whine and wonder, of all the people in the globe, we have the most loads of burden on our shoulder to carry along in our endeavors. Many a times, we feel that the world seems so cruel and unjust. Even though we really belief in Qadha' and Qadar, we can't escape from blaming ourselves and those around us, for the mishaps and all the unexpected things that happened throughout our lives. And most often, we are being ungrateful with our lives and all the things that we have.

I used to cry over things that I couldn't get or achieve. I used to question myself, why should I sacrifice my own interest, ambition and feeling for the sake of others? I've often wondered, why Allah tested me with all those heavy tests?

However, a visit to a friend's house in Penang during the recent Chinese New Year's long holidays have changed my perspective on life and everything that happened to me. Upon returning from her house, I've started to rethink about how I looked and felt about life. I also thank Allah Ta'ala for answering my prayers, guiding me to the right way through contemplating on my friend's journey of life.

This friend of mine, sis H had just delivered her fifth child. She gave birth to a healthy, chubby 4.5 kg baby girl. It was a normal delivery, with no vacuum, forceps or any drugs. The moment I looked at this baby's innocent face, I felt so sad, because this little angel will never see her father's face, and will never fell a father's love in the coming years. The fact is, her father has just passed away two months ago from colon cancer at the age of 34.

Sis H's late husband was a friend of mine too. He used to be my husband's college for almost 4 years when they both taught in a college in Selangor before. Honestly, his death was a tremendous shock to me and my husband. I couldn't sleep from the moment I read sis H's message of her husband's death in my handphone at 1 a.m. that day. My body was shaking and shivering, I felt like vomiting, since I couldn't believe that he has gone. Since the journey from my place to hers takes about 10 hours driving, my husband and I didn't manage to attend his funeral early in the morning the next day. That's why, by hook or by crook, we know that we must visit this family when we went to Penang some day later.

The day her husband passed away, sis H was carrying her approximately 8 months baby in the womb. I couldn't imagine her situation at that moment, especially the days after the funeral. With four kids age 4-10, life would be so drastically changed and difficult for her. Furthermore, she has her own career too, with no maid or relatives nearby her place.

For me, Sis H is a very strong person. This is not her first time loosing the people she loves most in times she really need them . When we were studying together in the university at overseas, she lost her dear mother during the final exams. When the news was broken to hear, she was so calm. Since the final exams couldn't be postponed, she didn't go back to attend her mother's funeral, even though she hadn't seen her for two years. However, despite the grief and sadness, she could still give her focus on her studies and did passed the exams with flying colours.

Sis H married her husband (our classmate in the university too) right after they graduated from the university. Both subsequently continued to take Masters in a local university. They had two daughters while studying Masters and after that, her husband found a job while she continued her PhD studies. They were blessed with two more children during her PhD. Her father passed away while she was doing her postgraduate studies. So, considering that she has no parents anymore and all her siblings have had their own families, she followed her husband to Penang, because her husband's parents live in Kedah. They settled down in Penang, got a good job there and even bought a house.

Sis H obtained her PhD at the age of 31. Compared to the other classmates, she is the earliest to hold a "Dr" title. All this while, I thought how wonderful her life was and how fortunate she is. She has a career, PhD, a house, a loving husband and four children. What else on earth does a woman want in her life besides that? Sis H told me how she spent a whole night in her house with no other adult, bearing the contractions. She waited untill after fajr to asked her neighbour's help to send her to hospital. When asked about her life with no parents, husband and relatives around, she answered in a bitter smile,"That's what people ask me every now and then". Without answering, I knew she was having a tough life. Her eyes could tell , even though her mouth denied it.

But after her husband's death, I learned some meaningful lessons. I started to realize that life is not a bed of roses. In fact, Allah Taala has reminded us in al-Qur'an that our existence in this world isn't meaningless. We will always be tested, to evaluate our patience and iman. However, most importantly, I learned that Allah's tests on us are always something that we can bear and go through. Allah's tests are not beyond our own capability to handle them.

I know, sis H is being tested by Allah since Allah knows she has the strength to pull herself together, like she did during her mother's death several years ago. She can lead a life alone, since she is a very independent person. She have survived during her bad times without a mother's love and care.

I also learned that despite being tested by Allah, without realizing it, Allah always give us guidance, help and His blessings to us to go through the tests. In sis H's case, she obtained her PhD earlier than other friends, she have a secured job and career and even have her own house before her age reaches 30. Actually all these are Allah's help and blessings on her, as preparations for her to raise her five children without a husband at the age of 32. MasyaAllah...does this proves Allah's love towards His creatures?

Sis H's life has inspired me a lot. Her life made me look at all the tests, blessings and failures in my life from different perspective. Now only I know, neither I am the least fortunate person in this whole world, nor the only person being tested by Allah with the biggest and toughest test compared to other people.

It's been a while since I last contact sis H. I should do it now. I want to know whether or not the 4.5 kg baby has grown to 6 kg in a month!

Are We Civilized Enough?

A fortnight ago, I happened to watch the Ripley's Believe It Or Not show. It was quite entertaining, as usual, exposing the world's most weird happenings, things and people. Suffice it to say, among the stories highlighted during the one hour program, the cover story on a group of native tribe in Brazil had really caught my attention. This tribe (I forgot its name) had a very peculiar culture, which I doubt would be accepted by modern and so-called civilized people nowadays. Honestly, I was so sad knowing and seeing them living in an uncivilized life. The women were still topless, and some are the men still went out for hunting or fishing in naked. They also lived in small bamboo cottages.

To me, this group of people was really 'weird'. The female tribe members applied plats made from clay on their lips and mouth as one of their accessories and as to attract men. These plats will gradually make their lips wider and mouths bigger. The bigger and wider a mouth is the considered the prettier. So, every girls and women forced the lips and mouths to become wider and bigger by putting bigger plats. This act could result to lips-tearing and bleeding. Despite the pain and agony, they willingly keep on cherishing this tradition.

Sounds weird and scary huh? But the most strange and agonizing tradition in this tribe is the "puberty test". I couldn't stop from screaming 'ouch', 'eeiiii', 'biar betul'...etc as I watch young girls and boys going through tests to show their braveness when they reach puberty. According to their tradition, whenever a boy reaches puberty, (this usually in the teen age) they are encouraged to do a ritual which includes bravery test. As to prove their braveness to other tribe members and declare to their elders that they are ready to be an adult and take up the responsibilities of an adult, the boys must put their hands in a jar filled with thousands of ants. These ants are the one that are well-known for their lethal bites. (Ya Allah..just imagine!!) So, as to pass this test, a brave boy shouldn’t pull out his hand from that jar, let alone crying out for help. He must let the ants bite his hand. Having said that, if he passes this test, he would be acknowledged as a true brave man.

So, what about the girls? Well, the girls were also being tested in a different kind of test, yet as agonizing as the boys test. First, the girls should be fasting for a whole day. Then, some elder women of the tribe would pull out their hair...every single hair....until the head became bald!! Just imagine....it was so painful, and absolutely a real kind of torture. And, if the girls could bare the agony, then only they would be acknowledge as an adult.

Masha Allah! As I watched the program, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of the justification and reason behind both tests. At last, I made my hypothesis. The pain of ant biting resembles the upcoming challenges for the boys as they become adults while the pain of hair-pulling most probably resembles the labour pain...heheheh.

That night, I made a conclusion that I knew was so unfair and unjust. I categorized them as uncivilized people. Yet I’m thankful to Allah for giving a chance to be a civilized person living in a civilized society. Having said that, I started to ponder on my ‘civilized’ community and society. Who am I to judge other people and called them uncivilized? Are we really civilized enough compared to them? And the mind-boggling questions started on.....and on....

As a matter of fact, we are not much different from that so-called uncivilized tribe. It their women are topless, isn’t it the same with us? Just look at ourselves, our communities...we are so proud to say that we can creatively design up to date clothes and we can produce good quality linens and silks, yet, many of us are still barely covering our aurah. If the women of the tribe hurting themselves to make them prettier and to attract men, we, the ‘civilized’ women are surely not much less hurting ourselves to always looked pretty. If they use plats for lips, we use botox, ‘susuk’, and other kinds of hazardous cosmetics for the same purpose. If the boys dare to feel the pain to show their braveness, our youngsters even dare to die to show their skills and braveness to the world, through ‘merempit’, clubbing, taking drugs, etc.

Now only I realise that we are not much different from them. As a matter of fact, the more we claim ourselves as civilized people, the more we return to be uncivilized. The higher skyscrapers we build, the lower is our akhlak and virtues of life. If we still don’t change, the sooner we will be living like the native tribe on the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Show. Do we really want to be like them??