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Inspiring Good Attitudes In Your Children
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There are a few basic and solid life principles that have lasted
through the ages. And these principles are common in all
cultures, religions, and civilizations.

And the main thing they all have in common is not just
preventing bad attitudes from happening and that brat factor
from taking hold, but they cultivate a society whose children
are not spoiled, selfish, defiant, and insensitive but rather
selfless, compassionate, respectful, and empathic. In the
end, they are the kinds of children that we all hope and
dream for.

Different religions, cultures, and spiritual disciplines have
their own unique language in expressing these life principles.

But here is my version of the basic list. It's what we can do
as parents and also convey into all the relationships and
activities in our lives.

1. Be loving. It's the greatest gift and greatest blessing. It's
the basis of all relationships and morality. The more love and
kindness you give, the more you receive. Remember that the
best gift you can give your child is of yourself.

2. Be authentic. Never fake a feeling or act out a phony
behavior. Your children need you to be sincere, genuine, and
your real self at all times.

3. Be positive. Things often turn out on the basis of your way
of looking at it. If you're optimistic and hopeful about the
future, it may turn out to be self-fulfilling.

4. Be persistent. Life is a long-distance run. Perseverance
pays off, so never give up, especially when it comes to
helping your kids.

5. Be active. Don't just sit there. When you have a good idea
or realize something is wrong, be proactive. Your actions will
show your child that the only way to accomplish deeds large
or small is by plunging full speed ahead.

6. Be a good example. Provide the kind of moral model you
want your children to copy. Your child needs someone to look
up to.

7. Be consistent. Regularity, structure, and clear boundaries
create trust. It's what your child needs to feel safe and
secure, so provide it. Very importantly, do what you preach
and you will truly earn the respect of your children. Too many
people in this world do not do what they said and hence they
soon lose the trust of others when people see the true color
in them.

8. Be present. Be here now. Don't let work and other
distractions interfere with remaining in the moment in direct
contact and communication with your child and other loved
ones.

9. Be patient. Slow down and get in sync with your kids. Life
goes by all too quickly, so why speed things up? And don't
forget, change takes time.

10. Be selfless. Get out of your shoes, put your energy into
others, and take your kid along with you on the journey.

11. Be open. Flexibility is strength. Learning new things,
having new ideas, and allowing exposure to other points of
view and ways of being are lessons you need to experience
and pass on to your kids.

12. Be simple. Your child doesn't need a whole lot to be
happy; in fact, less really is better. It will help him develop
appreciation and gratitude for the essential things in life.

13. Be believing. Every human being needs something to live
by: a set of guiding principles, a sense of right and wrong.
You need to be clear, conscious, and consistent with it, so
your child knows where you stand and has the opportunity to
follow.

14. Be empathic. Above all else, the most important virtue
humans can aspire to is the ability to understand and get
inside another person's feelings. Empathy is the effective
antidote to attitudes that are selfish, insensitive, and cruel.
And the best way our children can learn it is by experiencing
our empathy for them.

Yes, it is true that it is not an easy world today for parents
and children. We're living in an uncertain and constantly
changing world. The attitudes we see in our children to some
extent reflect not only our family dynamics, but also the
influence of the world at large. The problem is acute, and the
stakes are high. There are some things way out of our
control, but the one thing we can do is be parents.

Everything we do now is going to have an impact on our
children and their world to come.

Hence stop the blaming, the excusing, the rescuing and
compromising, and start putting all your energy into what
really matters.

When all is said and done, it's not how many goals they
score, what academic degree they achieve, or how much
money they'll make that matters. It's the kind of life they live
and the world in which they live it.

By Alvin Poh