CuppyCake...Afafita's latest fond

Song lyrics | Cuppy Cake lyrics

Tears and Rain

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

Actually this is the lyrics of James Blunt single entitled "Tears and rain". I'm quite fond of the song lately.


It has been ages since my last posting. I guess it's not because of the Eid season, but it's more likely because of the conflicts and crisis that surrounded me for the past few weeks. Only Allah knows the burden of making the right and most appropriate decision in my life; trying to avoid hurting other's hearts, even though I have to sacrifice my own feelings and ambitions. I guess it has always been a fate of my life: to be what I don't want to be, and to do what I don't want to.

The journey of my life is not a pleasant one. My life story is fulled with unexpected things and happenings, fulled with unbearable frustration of not getting to go for my ambition, fulled with incidents and conflicts which need me to sacrifice for others, etc. That's my life. Even though I've realized my destiny and fate, now only I truly apprehend the meaning of sacrifice. Sacrifice is absolutely a simple word to pronounce, nevertheless it requires strong faith in Allah' Wisdom, patience, open-heart, sincerity, love and courage to overcome our own frustration and broken heart. To what extend could we sacrifice for the sake of the others depend on to what extent we love them and belief in Allah's Wisdom and Blessings. Thus, sacrifice is not an ordinary task which could be carried out by ordinary people. For me, sacrifice could only be carried out by selected, special persons.

My best friend once told me: "it may be that sacrifice is the test from Allah which you can successfully pass with flying colours in your journey to attain Allah's Satisfaction and to enter the Jannah". Now, I'm trying to look at the bright side of all the conflicts and crisis that happened to me lately. I'm also trying to learn the skills of letting go my own visions, hopes and needs for the sake of Allah and for the sake of my beloved ones. I want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. As a matter of fact, when it comes to choose between ambition and obedience, I have to willingly sacrifice my interests. Is everything will turn out to be vain? No, since I believe in 'the blessings in disguise' or 'hikmah' in everything that happened in my life. A saying goes, "No pain No gain". Thus, there's no shortcut journey or pleasant route to Jannah. May Allah makes me strong enough to go through all the tests successfully.

Help Your Child Learn From Her Mistakes

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Help Your Child Learn From Her Mistakes
- by Alvin Poh
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Everyone make mistakes. It is a part of life. We have to
accept that we're not perfect because we are only human
and we will continue to make mistakes for the rest of our life.

In fact, if we do not make mistakes, much of our learning
simply wouldn't take place.

The ability to understand their mistakes and to forgive
themselves is something children need to learn. The proper
ways of coping with mistake and the ability to learn from
them is something that can be cultivated when children are
still young. And parental understanding and support are vital
elements in this process.

Children need to understand that making mistakes is part of
their life and it does not make them a failure. It is how they
cope with their mistakes and what they learn from the
experience that is important.

And children learn by observing what adults do, especially
the people closest to them, their parents. Parents have a
very powerful influence in their children's life.

Hence if you make a mistake in front of your child, the best
thing you can do is admit to it. If you follow up with a quick
discussion on where you went wrong and suggest a more
appropriate course of action together with what you learnt
from your mistake, then you are being a good role model for
your child.

If you have a relationship with your child in which she admits
her mistakes openly and frankly, then you are on the right

Admitting to one's mistakes is a pretty hard work for many
people. It often takes a fair amount of personal courage
and strength to do this. For your child to be able to take this
step, she must feel secure and confident in herself and she
must be able to trust you. The way you see and handle your
child's mistakes, starting when she is very young, will have a
very crucial impact on the way she handles her mistakes in
the future.

Never make your child feel small for her mistakes or punish
her for mistakes that she makes. Doing so will do more harm
than good to the foundation of trust and security your child
has in the relationship between you and her. In fact, her
insecurity and fear to this kind of response can lead to your
child covering up or denying her mistakes, rather than
wanting to discuss them with you and learn from the

Instead. focus on helping your child realizing where she went
wrong and what she can do the next time to make things
better. Encourage your child to admit that she has done
something wrong and commend her for her honesty when
she does. If punishment is necessary, make sure she
understands why and the seriousness of the situation so
that she will learn from the mistakes.

We can all help our children learn from their experience and
ultimately become a much better person in life.

EId greeting....

Selamat Hari Raya kepada semua Muslimin dan Muslimat.... semoga segala amalan kita dirahmati Allah...amin.

Taqabbalallah minna wa minkum
Siyamana wa siyamakum...
May Allah bless us all

regards from:
Wafitos and Afafita


O Allah....
Grant me serenity
to pray for Your forgiveness

Grant me strength
to heal my broken heart

Grant me patience
to wait for Your guidance

Grant me courage
to speak out and stand for the truth

Grant me peace
to think of the best solution
Grant me 'Redha'
to open-heartedly accept my fate

O Allah...
Please don't leave your servant at the crossroads
Tearing apart between

Obedience and ambition

O Allah...
Please don't desert me in nowhere
In seeking for Your Satisfaction

In my effort to be the good wife of my husband

O Allah...Please don't discard me from Your Blessings
In this journey of life
Endeavoring hardships to reach Your Jannah

O Allah...
This pain inside is unbearable
This grief inside is inconsolable
This broken heart is incurable

But Allah...
I'm holding tighter to my faith
Steadfastly praying to change my fate

For I believe
In Your Mercy and Love
For I believe
In Your Grace and Care
To cure
This inconsolable heart

by ummu wafi dkm, 27 Ramadhan 1428

Exerting Oneself During the Last Ten Days of Ramadhan

An important reminder taken from the respected Shaykh Salih
al-Fawzana's book Ahadith as-Siyam: Ahkam wa Adabâ

Aisha (RA) said: "When the last ten days (of Ramadhan) would come,
the Prophet (SAW) would spend his night in worship, wake his family (at
night), exert himself and tighten his Izaar (waistcloth)."

This hadith is proof that the last ten days of Ramadhan have a special
virtue over any other (set of days), in which one should increase in
obedience and acts of worship, such as prayer, making dhikr (remembrance)
and reciting the Qur'an.

Aisha RA has described our Prophet and role model, Muhammad (SAW),
with four attributes:

1. He (SAW) would "spend his night in worship", meaning he would not
sleep during it. He (SAW) would spend all of it in the state of qiyam
(night prayer) and performing acts of worship that are done for the sake
of Allah, Lord of the worlds.

2. He (SAW) would "wake up his family" meaning his (SAW) pure wives,
the Mothers of the Believers, so that they may take part in the profiting
of good, the dhikr (remembrance) and the acts of worship during these
blessed times.

3. He (SAW) would "exert himself", meaning he (SAW) would persevere and
struggle in worship, adding more to his deeds than what he had done in
the first twenty days (of Ramadhan). He only did this because the
night of Al-Qadr occurs during one of these (last ten) days.

4. He (SAW) would "tighten his Izaar (waistcloth)" meaning he would
exert himself and struggle intensely in worship. It is also said that it
means he (SAW) would withdraw from women. This seems to be more correct
since it inclines with what was mentioned previously and with the
hadeeth of Anas (RA) : "He (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) would rollup his
bed and withdraw from women (i.e. his wives)."

Also, he (SAW) would observe 'Itikaaf in the last ten days of Ramadhan
and the person who is in the state of 'Itikaaf is restricted from
interacting (sexually) with women.

So, O Muslim, strive to characterize yourself with these attributes.
And guard the prayer you make in the depths of the night (tahajjud) with
the Imam in addition to the Tarawih prayer (which is prayed in the
early parts of the night), so that your exertion in these last ten days may
go beyond that of the first twenty. And so that you may achieve the
attribute of "spending the night in worship" by praying.

And you must be patient in your obedience to Allah, for indeed, the
tahajjud (night) prayer is difficult, but its reward is great. By Allah,
it is a great opportunity in ones life and a profitable thing to take
advantage of, for the one whom Allah grants it to. And a person does not
know if perhaps he will encounter one of Allah's many rewards during
the night prayer, thus serving as assistance for him in this world and in
the Hereafter.

The righteous predecessors of this ummah would lengthen the prayer at
night, exerting themselves. As-Saa'ib Ibn Yazeed said: "'Umar Ibn
Al-Khattaab ordered Ubay Bin Ka'ab and Tameem Ad-Daree to lead the people in
prayer with eleven raka'at. The reciter would recite one hundred
verses, to the point that we had to lean upon wooden staffs due to the long
standing. And we would not stop until the early parts of Fajr."

'Abdullah Ibn Abi Bakr reported: "I heard my father (i.e. Abu Bakr)
say: 'During Ramadhan, we would finish (the night prayer) late and we
would hurry the servants to present the food (of suhoor) for fear that Fajr
(morning) would come upon us."

There are two struggles of the soul that the believer faces during
Ramadhan: the struggle by day with fasting and the struggle by night with
qiyam (night prayer). So whosoever combines these two and fulfils their
rights, then he is amongst the patient -- those who will "be given
their reward in full without any reckoning."

These ten days are the last part of the month and a person's actions
are based on his last ones. So perhaps, he will encounter the night of
Al-Qadr while standing in prayer for Allah and thus have all his past
sins forgiven.

Therefore, embarking on these last days means entering into the
profiting from righteous deeds in what remains of the month. From the
unfortunate matters is to see that some people excel in righteous actions, such
as prayer and recitation of the Qur'an, in the first part of the
month, but then signs of fatigue and weariness begin to show on them
afterwards, especially when the last ten days of Ramadhan come in. And this is
in spite of these last ten days possessing a greater standing than the
first ones. Thus, one must persevere in striving and struggling and
increase his worship when the end of the month draws near. And we must
keep in mind that a person's actions are based on his last ones.

(extracted from sisters-maqazine's bulletin)

Afafita's Birthday Album

Happy Birthday Afafita..!!

On 6th October 2007, my darling Afafita turned 4. Happy Birthday, sweetheart! Mama, Papa, Abang, Mak, Jaddun, and everybody wishes you a blessed and successful year ahead. We pray for your health, happiness, safety and prosperity. May Allah fulfill your ambitions and needs, may you grow up as a true Mu'minah and may you be a 'solehah' daughter of us!

For two consecutive years, afafita's birthday falls in Ramadhan. So we can't really hold a big birthday party or celebrate this special day with many other people. So, this time around, a very small cutting cake ceremony was held at home on 7th October after
tarawih. Since afafita's jaddun (grandpa) was also celebrating his 63th birthday on 7th October, so it was a two-in-one celebration.

Mama bought two small cakes. One was for home celebration, and the other was to be shared with friends at school on Monday, 8th October. Both cakes were sponge chocolate blueberry layered cakes . They looked nice and surely tasted delicious. At home, the celebration was so simple and 'down -to-earth'. No balloons, no candle blowing session, and the dishes were only the small cake, fruits and drinks. In fact, this has been our family tradition or way of celebrating birthdays of our family members. Most importantly, we pray for the best for the person.

Those who shared Afafita's happiness and excitement on that night included Mak, Jaddun, Mama, Papa, Wafitos, Untie, Uncle, Cik Dila (an aunt cum nanny for the past few months) the new bibik (maid) and last but not least....the new kid on the block, Iffato Zaimo, afafita's new 3 months old cousin whom she really loves, adores and regards as her own brother. Last year, we also invited Haziq, Faris and their parents
to join the party, but unfortunately, this year they couldn't come since they have moved to Saarland, Germany last December.

A test from Allah in Ramadhan...

My car has been hit again - the second time in this year- last Sunday. This time around, a lady driver in a car hit my car near a business center not far away from my house. I was in Singapore, doing some shoppings for the upcoming Eid when my sister broke the news to me. She's the one who drove the car, on her way home from running some errands and buying some food for our breaking of fast later in the evening.

Alhamdulillah, nobody hurts in this minor accidents, and that's more important to me, . The rear bumper is crashed, but I'm really grateful to Allah for there was no casualties eventhough I know that I may have to drive that car with a crashed bumper to visit my relatives during this coming Eid. I regard this as a test and trial from Allah to me in this Ramadhan, to test my patience and redha in that incident.

Time Flies.....

I've never thought that time can fly so fast. Without realizing it, Ramadhan has came to the third quarter of the month - the last ten days of Ramadhan. While we're still struggling to perform our solat 'tarawih' every nites, we find out that we don't have many nites left to exercise as many ibadah as we could. What have we done during the last twenty days and nites of rahmah and barakah? Did we fully managed to grab every opportunity to seek God's forgiveness and Satisfaction? Did we really carry out the fasting obligatory perfectly? Have we done all our best to attain barakah and rahmah from Allah throughout this month? How I wish that this holy month of Ramadhan won't end so soon. How I wish that Ramadhan was to be extended to 40 days, so that I could have extra times and hours to exercise the commendable (sunnah) ibadah; so that I could pray more to Allah for His Blessings. The fact is that Ramadhan will end soon. Knowing this, we should strive harder to fully optimize every single minutes and hours to serve Allah. May Allah grant us serenity, opportunity and strength to serve Him thus subsequently attain His Satisfaction.

Some Interesting Facts About Memory

Some Interesting Facts About Memory
by Dr Yip Swe Chooi

Q1) What is memory?

People often talk about their memory as though their memory is an object that can be possessed. Memory isn’t something that can be seen, touched or weighed like an object. It is a mental process and not something you can hold in your hand.

Q2) How does our memory work?

We remember things by association. Each piece of information is linked to other information in some way or another. The more you know about a particular topic the easier it is to remember or to learn new things about that topic because you have more “hooks” for the new information to hook on.

Q3) Why do most of us have a bad memory?

The truth is that most of us have a good memory. The memory performance does not match the potential is because we do not practice using it efficiently or we do not learn memory techniques to remember better.

Q4) How can we learn to remember better?

Since memory works by association, create an association between the information will enable us to remember better. For example, if you want to remember the following list:


All you have to do is to visualize in your mind:

1. a hamburger shivering inside a refrigerator
2. a refrigerator is put inside a car.
3. a car crashes onto a giant dictionary.
4. a dictionary with pictures of tigers.
5. a tiger is sitting on a chair
6. a chair with a radio hanging on it.
7. turn on the radio with a pencil.

If you can form vivid associations, you will be surprised how easy it is to remember the list. The idea is to be creative and visualize in your mind the associations that connect the information together.

Q5) How can we visualize intangible words?

Substituting intangible words with other concrete words or phrases facilitate visualization and thus makes it easier to remember. There are two ways to substitute words without “built in image”.

1. substitute with things or words that are in some ways related to the intangible words.
e.g. education --- school
France --- Eiffel Tower

2. substitute with words that have similar phonetic sounds.
e.g. taciturn --- taxi turns
Portugal --- Port two girls

Q 6) How much information can we remember?

The storage capacity of the human brain is virtually limitless. It was estimated that the number of patterns nerve cells could form was 1 followed by 800 zeroes. Other researchers estimate that even this number is too small. This means that our brains will never “fill up” with information.

Q 7) Does the adage “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” apply to older adults as well?

Actually, the more accurate saying is : ‘The quickest way to become an old dog is to quit learning new tricks.’ Our memory becomes less efficient as we grow older and thus, older adults may not learn as quickly as their younger peers. On the other hand, older adults have a lot more structures and more retrievable information to compare new experiences to. The rich experience and knowledge base help many older adults to perform mental tasks at the same or higher levels as young adults. However, there are many negative effects of aging, such deterioration of the neuronal pathways, and sedentary lifestyle that may impede the ability to remember things.

It is essential that older people enjoy an active social life in order to maintain their memory. A recent study has shown that elderly people who took part in learning new things had higher performance in unrelated memory tasks.