Mummy Me-Time

By Sujatha Rajagopal

Today…do yourself the favour!

To find the one place that authoritatively asks Moms to put themselves first, take a flight. Airline safety messages say it clearly enough: if you’re travelling with a young child and there’s an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first.

Too often, mothers don’t give themselves the time or even the permission to prioritise their own needs and wants. In our daily mental checklist, kids and hubby aside, the laundry, the bathroom, the cat, the plants, the car, the dust collecting on the bookshelves…all come before our own well-being, never mind that our backs scream for rest.

But you can kick back, refresh and rejuvenate. Yes. And it won’t take hours off your busy schedule. Don’t ask how. Insist on why not. The longer you deprive yourself of rest, the higher the chance you may become too run-down…worse, seriously ill. And where would that leave your family?

Relaxing is not being selfish. Take care of yourself better and you may actually become a better mother!

Try these time-outs for mums:

BLOG!
Keep a diary about mum-hood. If you like putting your thoughts down into words, a blog or journal can be a great tool to unwind after a hectic day. With a laptop, wireless connectivity and free blog sites like Wordpress.com and Blogger.com, blogging is only getting easier. Blog in bed while junior slumbers. Blog in the kitchen while the soup boils. Or write in the car while waiting for your girls to finish ballet lessons. In just 15 to 20 minutes, you can put your worries, frustrations and hopes into the blogosphere and leave them there (turn on privacy settings if you like).

NETWORK!
Strike rich friendships with other mums. Every week or fortnight, leave the kids with hubby or a caregiver and meet with friends and like-minded mums. You will be surprised by how much you can learn, or even earn! Take the example of Anne Nolen, Susan Callahan and Katrin Schumann, three friends who after meeting every week to discuss post natal weight loss and mothering issues, produced a best-selling book, “Mothers Need Time-Outs Too”. Even if becoming an author is not an option, these meetings could help you learn valuable parenting lessons from other moms. At the least, it will give you the rest you deserve.

PAMPER!
Pampering can be cheap and quick! Here are some ideas: Play some music while you soak an extra 10 minutes in the bath. Pursue a hobby you loved as a teenager, like painting or cross-stitch. Hop out for a walk when the in-laws visit on the pretext of needing a carton of milk. Pamper your senses by stopping to watch the clouds or smelling the flowers when your child is engrossed at the playground. Are you so busy that you forget to breathe? Stop and pamper your lungs. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly. It takes less than 30 seconds to take three deep breaths!

CHANGE!
When life becomes too hectic, mix it up. For example, if you usually drive to work, take the train twice a week instead. Switch off the phone and use that commute to close your eyes and think happy thoughts. That’s at least half an hour of relaxation for you! When the kids are screaming and lunch has been burnt to a crisp, whip up sandwiches for a playground picnic. If you spend every evening in front of the TV, switch it off and play a board game or fix jigsaw puzzles. Do something different!

READ!
Set aside daily escape time. Go ahead and devote the whole day to others. But keep the last 30 minutes of the day selfishly to yourself. Once you’re ready for bed, curl up with a book you’ve always wanted to read. Choose a happy, feel-good theme, preferably a story that makes you laugh or inspires you. Well-written books have a way of unlocking another world, taking your relaxation-deprived mind to a realm of soothing restfulness. There’s another reason to purge your mind of the day’s trials and fill it up with calm. It will help you sleep better, and wake up refreshed.

TAKE CONTROL!
Use available tools to help you. There may be incessant demands placed on you. But this doesn’t mean that you have to do it all yourself. Rope in a friend or relative (be sure to return the favour another day) when you’re at your wit’s end. Purchase a good planner or binder to keep track of all your to-do lists. Is every morning a chaotic rush? Draw out a daily schedule and stick it on the fridge.

Most important…
Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Make an appointment to see your doctor if you’ve been feeling too stressed or tired lately. Be sure to have a yearly or twice-yearly physical exam. Chronic diseases have a way of creeping up when we’re too tired to notice them.

If you can’t imagine where to begin, just do less. And you may actually be doing more for your loved ones than before. When you give yourself the time you deserve, you will notice that you become a better parent, one who is more attentive to your family’s needs. It’s the truth: a rested mother is a happier family. Now breathe…!