Exam week again...

It's the exam week again! Aagghh....the tense and stress are coming back, surrounding my life. As the exam week comes, I normally become stressful, as I have to supervise Chichi doing his revision. Honestly, I don't mind much about how many A or credits he can get, but somehow I feel obliged to ensure he isn't among the bottom ten in his class. Other people's expectation is another thing that should be considered and met. Every time after exam period, relatives and family members would expect straight A's from him. They will say, "Isy...parents lecturer, mestilah dpt A semua!" Don't they know that intelligence is not totally genetically inherited?

Today, I really, really got mad at Chichi. I somehow misplaced the exam timetable that he gave me several days ago, and we don't know which paper he's going to sit for tomorrow. So, I asked him to ask his friends at school the exam timetable for tomorrow and the day after. But as expected, the typical Chichi forgot (and actually never bother to remember) the task I asked him. So, apa lagi, mengamuklah Mama Mia. I shouted at him at the top of my voice, and I was really uncontrollable.

Poor my little son....I shouldn't have done that to him. He is just 7 years old...but I treated him as a 17 years old son. I don't know what came up to me just now. I lost my temper for a non-concrete reason. To make matter worse, I also started grumbling and nagging for more than 15 minutes, babbling all sorts of dissatisfaction and frustration towards everyone in the house. Astaghfirullah al-Adzim....

I feel regret now and I think tomorrow I should talk to Chichi, explaining to him the reasons I scolded him and telling that I'm sorry for yelling at him. I believe, as parents, we shouldn't hold back our feelings from our children. If we feel sorry for our own attitude and really think that we have done some kind of mistakes, it's not wrong to apologize from our children. In that way, we actually teach them to be bold enough to admit mistakes and correct them.