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Teaching Your Child About Respect
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One of the most important things parents can teach
their children is respect. And respect is not the same as
obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid.
However if they respect you, they will obey because
they know that you have their best interest at heart.
The best way to teach respect is to show respect. When
our children experience respect, they know what it feels
like and begin to understand how important it is.
Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child not
only succeed in school but also later in life. If children
don't have respect for peers, authority, or themselves,
it's almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful
child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a
respectful child gets along with others.
Al thought schools teach children about respect, parents
play a significant role and have the most influence on
molding their children to become respectful individuals.
Until children show respect at home, it's unlikely they will
show it outside the home.
Respecting your child
Learning to treat children with respect will require a
change of heart, that can come only from a major shift in
consciousness of how we see our children and how we
define respect.
Like adults, children have human dignity too. To treat a
person with respect is to acknowledge and preserve
their human dignity. To treat a person with disrespect is
to attack their human dignity.
If we want to bring out respectful children, we must first
be respectful parents, teachers and care givers.
Children are our mirrors. they reflect back to us
everything we say and do. 95% of everything our
children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them.
Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. We
are role models for our children. What we speak is what
we teach. Children record every word we ever say to
them or in front of them. The language children grow up
hearing is the language they will speak.
How can you show respect to your child?
- Be positive. Don't embarrass, insult or make fun of
your child. Compliment him or her.
- Be honest. If you do something wrong, admit it and
apologize.
- Be trusting. Let your child makes choices and take
responsibility.
- Be reliable. Keep promises that you make. Show your
child that you mean what you say.
- Be fair. Listen to your child's side of the story before
reaching a conclusion.
- Be polite. Use "please" and "thank you." Knock before
entering your child's room.
More Respect Tactics
When you set rules at home, explain to your child why
the rule is important. For example, if you have a rule that
says "No taking of dinner in front of the TV," do explain
that this is because dinner time is the time for everyone
to get together, catch up on what has happened during
the talk, to talk and to show care and love for one
another in the family.
• Teach your children to respect themselves. Self-respect
is one of the most important forms of respect. Once we
respect ourselves, it is easier to respect others.
• Help them set and achieve goals. Their self-respect will
skyrocket when they see themselves achieving those
goals.
• Encourage honesty and integrity. Let your children
know that they may be able to fool some people, but
they can't fool themselves. There is no pride in stealing,
cheating or lying.
• Your opinion means a lot to your children. If you
believe your children can succeed, they will believe they
can as well. Build their independence. Give them
responsibilities as soon as they can handle them.
• Most importantly, show love! Say “I love you" often,
and give plenty of hugs and kisses. If your child makes a
mistake, remind them that they are still loved.
by Alvin Poh
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