Sacrifice...

It has been ages since my last posting. I guess it's not because of the Eid season, but it's more likely because of the conflicts and crisis that surrounded me for the past few weeks. Only Allah knows the burden of making the right and most appropriate decision in my life; trying to avoid hurting other's hearts, even though I have to sacrifice my own feelings and ambitions. I guess it has always been a fate of my life: to be what I don't want to be, and to do what I don't want to.


The journey of my life is not a pleasant one. My life story is fulled with unexpected things and happenings, fulled with unbearable frustration of not getting to go for my ambition, fulled with incidents and conflicts which need me to sacrifice for others, etc. That's my life. Even though I've realized my destiny and fate, now only I truly apprehend the meaning of sacrifice. Sacrifice is absolutely a simple word to pronounce, nevertheless it requires strong faith in Allah' Wisdom, patience, open-heart, sincerity, love and courage to overcome our own frustration and broken heart. To what extend could we sacrifice for the sake of the others depend on to what extent we love them and belief in Allah's Wisdom and Blessings. Thus, sacrifice is not an ordinary task which could be carried out by ordinary people. For me, sacrifice could only be carried out by selected, special persons.


My best friend once told me: "it may be that sacrifice is the test from Allah which you can successfully pass with flying colours in your journey to attain Allah's Satisfaction and to enter the Jannah". Now, I'm trying to look at the bright side of all the conflicts and crisis that happened to me lately. I'm also trying to learn the skills of letting go my own visions, hopes and needs for the sake of Allah and for the sake of my beloved ones. I want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. As a matter of fact, when it comes to choose between ambition and obedience, I have to willingly sacrifice my interests. Is everything will turn out to be vain? No, since I believe in 'the blessings in disguise' or 'hikmah' in everything that happened in my life. A saying goes, "No pain No gain". Thus, there's no shortcut journey or pleasant route to Jannah. May Allah makes me strong enough to go through all the tests successfully.