Revisiting the Life of DM

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

Actually this is the lyrics of James Blunt single entitled "Tears and rain". I'm quite fond of the song lately.

Sacrifice...

It has been ages since my last posting. I guess it's not because of the Eid season, but it's more likely because of the conflicts and crisis that surrounded me for the past few weeks. Only Allah knows the burden of making the right and most appropriate decision in my life; trying to avoid hurting other's hearts, even though I have to sacrifice my own feelings and ambitions. I guess it has always been a fate of my life: to be what I don't want to be, and to do what I don't want to.

The journey of my life is not a pleasant one. My life story is fulled with unexpected things and happenings, fulled with unbearable frustration of not getting to go for my ambition, fulled with incidents and conflicts which need me to sacrifice for others, etc. That's my life. Even though I've realized my destiny and fate, now only I truly apprehend the meaning of sacrifice. Sacrifice is absolutely a simple word to pronounce, nevertheless it requires strong faith in Allah' Wisdom, patience, open-heart, sincerity, love and courage to overcome our own frustration and broken heart. To what extend could we sacrifice for the sake of the others depend on to what extent we love them and belief in Allah's Wisdom and Blessings. Thus, sacrifice is not an ordinary task which could be carried out by ordinary people. For me, sacrifice could only be carried out by selected, special persons.

My best friend once told me: "it may be that sacrifice is the test from Allah which you can successfully pass with flying colours in your journey to attain Allah's Satisfaction and to enter the Jannah". Now, I'm trying to look at the bright side of all the conflicts and crisis that happened to me lately. I'm also trying to learn the skills of letting go my own visions, hopes and needs for the sake of Allah and for the sake of my beloved ones. I want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. As a matter of fact, when it comes to choose between ambition and obedience, I have to willingly sacrifice my interests. Is everything will turn out to be vain? No, since I believe in 'the blessings in disguise' or 'hikmah' in everything that happened in my life. A saying goes, "No pain No gain". Thus, there's no shortcut journey or pleasant route to Jannah. May Allah makes me strong enough to go through all the tests successfully.

Help Your Child Learn From Her Mistakes

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Help Your Child Learn From Her Mistakes
- by Alvin Poh
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Everyone make mistakes. It is a part of life. We have to
accept that we're not perfect because we are only human
and we will continue to make mistakes for the rest of our life.

In fact, if we do not make mistakes, much of our learning
simply wouldn't take place.

The ability to understand their mistakes and to forgive
themselves is something children need to learn. The proper
ways of coping with mistake and the ability to learn from
them is something that can be cultivated when children are
still young. And parental understanding and support are vital
elements in this process.

Children need to understand that making mistakes is part of
their life and it does not make them a failure. It is how they
cope with their mistakes and what they learn from the
experience that is important.

And children learn by observing what adults do, especially
the people closest to them, their parents. Parents have a
very powerful influence in their children's life.

Hence if you make a mistake in front of your child, the best
thing you can do is admit to it. If you follow up with a quick
discussion on where you went wrong and suggest a more
appropriate course of action together with what you learnt
from your mistake, then you are being a good role model for
your child.

If you have a relationship with your child in which she admits
her mistakes openly and frankly, then you are on the right
track.

Admitting to one's mistakes is a pretty hard work for many
people. It often takes a fair amount of personal courage
and strength to do this. For your child to be able to take this
step, she must feel secure and confident in herself and she
must be able to trust you. The way you see and handle your
child's mistakes, starting when she is very young, will have a
very crucial impact on the way she handles her mistakes in
the future.

Never make your child feel small for her mistakes or punish
her for mistakes that she makes. Doing so will do more harm
than good to the foundation of trust and security your child
has in the relationship between you and her. In fact, her
insecurity and fear to this kind of response can lead to your
child covering up or denying her mistakes, rather than
wanting to discuss them with you and learn from the
experience.

Instead. focus on helping your child realizing where she went
wrong and what she can do the next time to make things
better. Encourage your child to admit that she has done
something wrong and commend her for her honesty when
she does. If punishment is necessary, make sure she
understands why and the seriousness of the situation so
that she will learn from the mistakes.

We can all help our children learn from their experience and
ultimately become a much better person in life.

EId greeting....

Selamat Hari Raya kepada semua Muslimin dan Muslimat.... semoga segala amalan kita dirahmati Allah...amin.

Taqabbalallah minna wa minkum
Siyamana wa siyamakum...
May Allah bless us all

regards from:
Wafitos and Afafita

Inconsolable.....

O Allah.... Grant me serenity
to pray for Your forgiveness
Grant me strength
to heal my broken heart
Grant me patience
to wait for Your guidance
Grant me courage
to speak out and stand for the truth
Grant me peace
to think of the best solution and...
Grant me 'Redha'
to open-heartedly accept my fate

O Allah... Please don't leave your servant at the crossroads
Tearing apart between
Obedience and ambition

O Allah... Please don't desert me in nowhere
In seeking for Your Satisfaction
In my effort to be the good wife of my husband

O Allah...Please don't discard me from Your Blessings
In this journey of life
Endeavoring hardships to reach Your Jannah

O Allah...
This pain inside is unbearable
This grief inside is inconsolable
This broken heart is incurable

But Allah...
I'm holding tighter to my faith
Steadfastly praying to change my fate

For I believe
In Your Mercy and Love
For I believe
In Your Grace and Care
To cure
This inconsolable heart

by ummu wafi dkm, 27 Ramadhan 1428

Exerting Oneself During the Last Ten Days of Ramadhan

An important reminder taken from the respected Shaykh Salih
al-Fawzana's book Ahadith as-Siyam: Ahkam wa Adabâ

Aisha (RA) said: "When the last ten days (of Ramadhan) would come,
the Prophet (SAW) would spend his night in worship, wake his family (at
night), exert himself and tighten his Izaar (waistcloth)."

This hadith is proof that the last ten days of Ramadhan have a special
virtue over any other (set of days), in which one should increase in
obedience and acts of worship, such as prayer, making dhikr (remembrance)
and reciting the Qur'an.

Aisha RA has described our Prophet and role model, Muhammad (SAW),
with four attributes:

1. He (SAW) would "spend his night in worship", meaning he would not
sleep during it. He (SAW) would spend all of it in the state of qiyam
(night prayer) and performing acts of worship that are done for the sake
of Allah, Lord of the worlds.

2. He (SAW) would "wake up his family" meaning his (SAW) pure wives,
the Mothers of the Believers, so that they may take part in the profiting
of good, the dhikr (remembrance) and the acts of worship during these
blessed times.

3. He (SAW) would "exert himself", meaning he (SAW) would persevere and
struggle in worship, adding more to his deeds than what he had done in
the first twenty days (of Ramadhan). He only did this because the
night of Al-Qadr occurs during one of these (last ten) days.

4. He (SAW) would "tighten his Izaar (waistcloth)" meaning he would
exert himself and struggle intensely in worship. It is also said that it
means he (SAW) would withdraw from women. This seems to be more correct
since it inclines with what was mentioned previously and with the
hadeeth of Anas (RA) : "He (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) would rollup his
bed and withdraw from women (i.e. his wives)."

Also, he (SAW) would observe 'Itikaaf in the last ten days of Ramadhan
and the person who is in the state of 'Itikaaf is restricted from
interacting (sexually) with women.

So, O Muslim, strive to characterize yourself with these attributes.
And guard the prayer you make in the depths of the night (tahajjud) with
the Imam in addition to the Tarawih prayer (which is prayed in the
early parts of the night), so that your exertion in these last ten days may
go beyond that of the first twenty. And so that you may achieve the
attribute of "spending the night in worship" by praying.

And you must be patient in your obedience to Allah, for indeed, the
tahajjud (night) prayer is difficult, but its reward is great. By Allah,
it is a great opportunity in ones life and a profitable thing to take
advantage of, for the one whom Allah grants it to. And a person does not
know if perhaps he will encounter one of Allah's many rewards during
the night prayer, thus serving as assistance for him in this world and in
the Hereafter.

The righteous predecessors of this ummah would lengthen the prayer at
night, exerting themselves. As-Saa'ib Ibn Yazeed said: "'Umar Ibn
Al-Khattaab ordered Ubay Bin Ka'ab and Tameem Ad-Daree to lead the people in
prayer with eleven raka'at. The reciter would recite one hundred
verses, to the point that we had to lean upon wooden staffs due to the long
standing. And we would not stop until the early parts of Fajr."

'Abdullah Ibn Abi Bakr reported: "I heard my father (i.e. Abu Bakr)
say: 'During Ramadhan, we would finish (the night prayer) late and we
would hurry the servants to present the food (of suhoor) for fear that Fajr
(morning) would come upon us."

There are two struggles of the soul that the believer faces during
Ramadhan: the struggle by day with fasting and the struggle by night with
qiyam (night prayer). So whosoever combines these two and fulfils their
rights, then he is amongst the patient -- those who will "be given
their reward in full without any reckoning."

These ten days are the last part of the month and a person's actions
are based on his last ones. So perhaps, he will encounter the night of
Al-Qadr while standing in prayer for Allah and thus have all his past
sins forgiven.

Therefore, embarking on these last days means entering into the
profiting from righteous deeds in what remains of the month. From the
unfortunate matters is to see that some people excel in righteous actions, such
as prayer and recitation of the Qur'an, in the first part of the
month, but then signs of fatigue and weariness begin to show on them
afterwards, especially when the last ten days of Ramadhan come in. And this is
in spite of these last ten days possessing a greater standing than the
first ones. Thus, one must persevere in striving and struggling and
increase his worship when the end of the month draws near. And we must
keep in mind that a person's actions are based on his last ones.

(extracted from sisters-maqazine's bulletin)