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A touching letter from a child...

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My Daddy, My Buddy - a letter from a young boy to his father
- published on 'Bring Up Junior' magazine, Mar - May Issue
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Dearest Daddy

How I miss talking to you! Where were you during the
teachers-parents meeting last Friday? I tried so hard to be a
good boy just so that Mrs Kwan could tell you how well
behaved I was. Oh well, she's my form teacher. I almost
forgot that you never asked who my teachers were. Or what
my favorite subject was.

Daddy, where was my old Daddy who used to sing and read
to me, hug and kiss me when I fell down, sleep with me
when I fell ill and taught me how to ride my first bike? Yes
Daddy, you bought me all the toys that my friends dreamt of
having. But I am lonely. I don't even have anyone to talk to
at home. Aunty India is at home, but she is not my closest.
Daddy, you are so near yet so far away. I long for every
public holiday for that's the only time you are at home. Last
Deepavali, I woke up early just to have breakfast with you.
But you went golfing. I waited up to have dinner with you,
but as usual, you came home late again.

You told me you worked hard to bring me to Disneyland. If
only you can spare the time to ask me what I really want. I
don't need a nice car or a big house. All I want is you. You
to bring me to the library, eat my favorite food, go to the
playground, play scrabble and have dinner with me every
day.

Oh yes! Daddy, can you buy me a mobile phone? Because
when I talk to you, you rush off whenever you pick up the
phone. If I have a mobile phone, you will talk to me when I
call you, right?

Mrs Kwan gave us a composition title 'My Best Friend.' I gave
it a thought. It could only be you. Though I don't see you in
the morning when I wake up or when I sleep at night, I still
love you. Daddy or maybe if you buy me a laptop, I can e-
mail your secretary to set an appointment to do dinner
together?

Ten Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends by Judy H, Wright

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more than the plaintive cry “nobody likes me" or ”I don’t have any friends.”

We wish there were something we could do to insure the child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground. Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others. We can teach them some skills and behaviors that will enhance their chances of being picked as a friend.

New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. It has been called “shorthand” to making friends.

Not only does fitting in and having friends feel good, it has numerous other advantages including better grades, healthier bodies, less stress, and more opportunities to learn social skills. Children who feel like they have friends tend to stay in school longer, make wiser decisions, and are generally happier and so it much more important than just having a play mate.

Parents, teachers and other caring adults: Here are 10 secrets to assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging.

1. Look for opportunities to assist others. Studies show that helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute to being liked. Teach them to be aware of other people’s needs and to offer assistance spontaneously, before they ask for it.

2. Find something that makes them feel special. Encourage your child to find an activity, hobby or interest that they really enjoy. They don’t have to excel at it, just enjoy it. Do they enjoy drama, dance or railroads? Join a group of enthusiasts.

3. Say "hello" first, and smile. People who smile are perceived as nice and approachable. Friendly and optimistic people act as a magnet to others. Have you ever gotten mad at someone who smiled or said hi to you?

4. Be Pleasant to be around. It is simply too much work to try to figure out someone’s “moods” and if your child tends to complain a lot or blame others, they will find associates distancing themselves. If your child is consistently negative, help them to see the positive and break the habit of pessimism. Explore the energy techniques of EFT for some simple ways to change thought patterns.

5. Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are disrespectful to others or gossip about those who are not present, people tend to wary of how you will treat them. Don’t blame other people for not living up to your expectations. It is important that you teach your child that he or she is loveable and that if they continue to behave in positive ways, a friend will come along.

6. Don’t stand out from the crowd. Whether we like it or not, kids are judged by the way they look. Try to help them fit in socially.

7. Ask to join in the fun. When approaching a group that is already engaged, pick one person to look in the eye and ask if you can join them. If that person says no or seems hesitant, then smile and say, “Okay, maybe next time?” You will get much better response if you ask one person than if you address the group at large. If the one person accepts, then the others will go along with it. Be sure to say, “Thanks for letting me join you. It was fun.”

8. Don’t take it personally. Help your child understand that another person may just be having a bad day and may not be mad or dislike him or her. Teach them that people are really less concerned about us than we would like to think.

9. Watch your body language. Verbal communication is the language of information. Body language is the language of relationships. Appear open, friendly and eager to join in and make friends. Stand up straight and look people in the eye. Respect other people’s space by not standing too close.

10. Recognize the difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important and will last a lifetime. Popularity is fleeting and dependent on the group. You really only need one good friend.

One of the most effective tools I have found for change is to think about an incident that happened either positive or negative and then say “next time…….” It helps you to cement what went right and reflect on what didn’t go so well, so you can make changes in behavior and attitude. It also reminds the child that we all get another chance to try again, and that somewhere there is a friend just waiting for them.

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com.

Why Should You Raise Your Child To Become A Champion by Alvin Poh

The answer is simple - you want to help your child to be the
best that he can be.

Raising our children to become champions does not mean to
push them to fulfill our own dreams as parents. It simply
means to help and nurture them to reach their own goals
and dreams.

Your role as a parent is to direct and guide your child to
realize his or her potential.

Here, when we talk about champion, we are referring to
champion in a broader sense of the word. A person can be a
champion sportsman, business entrepreneur, teacher,
doctor, parent, musician etc. And for our children, we want to
help them to become champion students and learners.

Every child will have his own definition of a champion:

- For a child who is struggling with his studies, being a
champion may simply mean achieving a passing grade for all
the subjects that he is doing in school.

- For a child who loves music and playing the instrument,
it may be the opportunity to perform on stage to a large
audience.

- For a child who has an amputated leg, it may mean to
be able to swim a leap in the pool.

There are endless definitions of what a champion is.
Whatever your definition, being a champion means being
fulfilled, enjoying a peace of mind and achieve self
satisfaction.

To help our children become champions, we first must give
them something to be excited about, to dream about and to
be aspired. Give them something that they can work on and
become champions.

Although this is just the first step, it is a very crucial and
important step. First the dream, then the accomplishment.

Next, you have to give them the means for chasing and
realizing their goals.

Before we continue, here is the good news for you as
parents:

The very tools that you give to your child in becoming a
champion in sports, music or academic, are the very same
tools that help him to survive and strive in any endeavour.

The tools include:
- goal setting,
- time management,
- scheduling,
- knowing and planning the steps to achieve their goals and
- overcoming difficult times.

On top of that, while your child is striving for excellence, he is
building up the important character traits for success:

- self-confidence,
- dedication,
- problem solving and
- perseverance.

In addition, when your child focuses his energy on becoming
a champion and striving for excellence, he will not have the
time to take a negative path.

In the process of achieving his goals, he will come in contact
with other young people who are also heading forward and
upward. By surrounding himself with other positive people,
he will be further inspired to give his best and to achieve
more.

Be A Patient Parent to Enjoy Inner Peace and Calmness -

In general, the reason people feel stress about life is because they insist and want life to be exactly as they would like it to be. The more patient you are, the more accepting you will be towards things and others.

Without patience, life is extremely frustrating. You are easily annoyed, bothered and irritated. Patience adds a dimension of ease and acceptance to your life.

Patience involves seeing the innocence in others, including our children. We can almost always see the innocence in other people as well as in potentially frustrating situations.

When you do that, you will become a more patient and peaceful person and in some strange way, you begin to enjoy many of the moments that used to frustrate you. And when you are a parent who enjoys more peace and calmness, you will transfer this energy to your children when you interact with them. This in turn will help them to become happier, more loving and successful individuals. That is what we want in them ultimately, isn't it?

I'm the Hero...So are you

Hero

A Story From A Friend

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, while working at my desk top,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look inside his desk drawer,
You'll find an essay written about "Abah" (Father).
The essay is about you. How he had praised you
and regards you as his guidance and best friend.
He stood very quietly wanting to show it to you,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"You wrote this, son?"
He smiled, "We were given a topic to write about any
particular person.
My friends chose to write about famous persons of the
world".
"I have chosen you instead. Can't think of somebody else.
You are famous to me."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Abah, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the story, especially
about you "rodeo riding" on my back."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that
we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of
days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of
their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work
than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't
you think?

So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

My Bundle of Joys

8 important things to teach our children

There are 8 important things that we
want to teach our children to prepare them for a much better
living. They are:

- a positive self-esteem

- the ability to handle the ups and down in life

- the ability of getting along with others

- the skills in goal setting

- strong perseverance and not giving up until the goals are
reached

- knowing how to find solutions and resolve conflicts

- strong communication skill

- a compassionate heart and ability to empathize with other

Although our love and affection may not necessary make our
children more self-confident and friendly, we can nurture the
skills that do enhance the traits of successful living.
Regardless of your children's innate temperament and
genetic makeup, you can expand their potential by teaching
them how to live more successful and lead a more fulfilling
lives.

Good parenting and great teaching are not about how to
turn out little prodigies but rather to help our children live
their lives to the best of their abilities.

We do make difference in our child's life

Recent brain research has shown that parents have a
powerful and strong influence to their children's brain circuits
for the acquisition of music, math, logic, motor development,
social attachment, language and emotional control.

How can anyone denies the power of parent's or caregiver's
love?

- A dad spending one hour each night reading to his young
daughter so as that she enjoys books and help her to be a
more creative person;

- A mother patiently listening to her son sharing about his
feeling after his team has lost a major competition so as to
teach him how to cope with defeat;

- A mom coaches and helps her daughter to recognize her
musical talents and abilities.

Do not under estimate the power of such moments because
they help children form images of who they are and teach
them lessons that guide them throughout the rest of their
lives.

Parents and caregivers create the framework for children's
success by helping them learn to believe in themselves, and
by doing so, it lays the foundation for their emotional well-
being.

How Parents Can Help To Motivate Their Children In Learning By Alvin Poh

Below is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

• Actively Demonstrate Your Value For Learning

The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still a learner?"

Do you read books, go to the library, write letters, watch educational TV programs, or attend local school functions?

Do you discuss ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries?

Do you read to your children, play educational games like Monopoly, Cash Flow and chess with them, or facilitate their involvement in creative projects?

Your children look upon us as their role models. If they see you doing it, then they know it's worthwhile and can identify with you. If they don't see you enjoying learning, they can dismiss your support for learning as another example of "not practicing what you preach."

• Show A Non-threatening Interest In Your Child's Learning

This means that you care and want to know what your child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this manner you might ask about what he is learning in school or indicate your desire to see papers and projects he is creating.

Meal time is an excellent time for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work. Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of this nature - or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to home life.

Hence I'd recommend all parents do their best to create a motivating moments for their children at every meal time with the family.

• Consistently Offer Your Child A Sincere Expectancy That He Can Learn Eeffectively

In order to learn, children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as an effective learner.

By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.

• Get Involved In Your Child's School

At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious myth.

There are two other erroneous beliefs that continue to misguide us:

- Students don't learn because their teachers are not effective;

- Students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't prepare them to learn.

Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation.

It is far more likely that the student, the teacher and the parent all play significant roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and, indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.

Orang-Orang Beriman

"

Al-Hakim meriwayatkan Alqamah bin Haris berkata. Aku datang kepada
Rasulullah s.a.w dengan tujuh orang dari kaumku. Kemudian setelah kami
beri salam dan beliau tertarik sehingga beliau bertanya, "Siapakah
kamu ini ?"Jawab kami, "Kami adalah orang beriman." Kemudian baginda bertanya,
"Setiap perkataan ada buktinya, apakah bukti keimanan kamu ?"

Jawab kami, "Buktinya ada lima belas perkara. Lima perkara yang engkau
perintahkan kepada kami, lima perkara yang diperintahkan oleh utusanmu
kepada kami dan lima perkara yang kami terbiasakan sejak zaman
jahiliyyah ?"

Tanya Nabi s.a.w, "Apakah lima perkara yang aku perintahkan kepada
kamu itu ?"

Jawab mereka, "Kamu telah perintahkan kami untuk beriman kepada Allah,
percaya kepada Malaikat-Nya, Kitab-kitab- Nya, Rasul-rasul- Nya, percaya
kepada takdir Allah yang baik mahupun yang buruk." Selanjutnya tanya
Nabi s.a.w, "Apakah lima perkara yang diperintahkan oleh para utusanku
itu ?"

Jawab mereka, "Kami diperintahkan oleh para utusanmu untuk bersaksi
bahawa tidak ada Tuhan selain Allah dan engkau adalah utusan Allah,
hendaknya kami mendirikan solat wajib, mengerjakan puasa di bulan
Ramadhan, menunaikan zakat dan berhaji bila mampu."

Tanya Nabi s.a.w selanjutnya, "Apakah lima perkara yang kamu masih
terbiasakan sejak zaman jahiliyyah ?" Jawab mereka, "Bersyukur di
waktu senang, bersabar di waktu kesusahan, berani di waktu perang,
redha pada waktu kena ujian dan tidak merasa gembira dengan sesuatu
musibah yang menimpa pada musuh." Mendengar ucapan mereka yang amat
menarik ini, maka Nabi s.a.w berkata, "Sungguh kamu ini termasuk di
dalam kaum yang amat pandai sekali dalam agama mahupun dalam tatacara
berbicara, hampir sahaja kamu ini serupa dengan para Nabi dengan
segala macam yang kamu katakan tadi."

Kemudian Nabi s.a.w selanjutnya, "Mahukah kamu aku tunjukkan kepada
lima perkara amalan yang akan menyempurnakan dari yang kamu punyai?
Janganlah kamu mengumpulkan sesuatu yang tidak akan kamu makan.
Janganlah kamu mendirikan rumah yang tidak akan kamu tempati,
janganlah kamu berlumba-lumba dalam sesuatu yang bakal kamu
tinggalkan, berusahalah untuk mencari bekal ke dalam akhirat."

A new baby is born...

CONGRATULATIONS to my brother for his new born baby boy! seeing the little and cute creature of Allah reminds me of His Greatness. The baby, who weighs 3.27 kg was born on 28th may 2007 at 12.32 pm. May he will grow as a righteous person and be successful in this world and Hereafter. Amin....