Entahlah....Ape-ape aje...

Salam everyone.

Actually, I'm not in the mood of writing anything right now. That's why this blog has been unattended for several days without any updates. Entahlah..donno why. Maybe it is the effect of the hormone change in my body. To make it worse, the internet connection was quite terrible for the whole week, due to the thunders, lightning and daily heavy rain.

The morning sickness is still there- tak taulah nak buat camner lagi...just sabar and continue praying it will be away as soon as possible. The house is like a wrecked ship. The mountaining laundry really gives me a headache.

Afafita seems very different lately. She becomes quite rebellious, always in bad mood and purposely go against my word/ instruction. I've been thinking for days of the reasons and factors of this drastic behavioral change of her, and eventually I guess she misses her 'mother'. I'm still her one and only Mama, but of late, I didn't perform well as a mother to her. She misses my hugs, my cookings, my story-telling sessions, my teachings, etc.

"Mama...I want to drink milk".
"Go and ask Abang to make for u, or just drink the milk in the fridge".

"Mama, I'm hungry."
"Wait, sayang...nanti Papa will bring some food."

"Mama, I want to eat with Mama".
"U eat first with Papa, Mama not feeling well".

"Mama, bathe me please".
"No, u're a big Kakak. Kakak must bathe by urself".

"Mama!!!" (she jumped on my body while I was lying down on bed)
"Astaghfirullah budak nie...go away...u'll hurt the baby!!"

After reflecting on these scenes, I understand that Afafita feels very lonely. Maybe she also feels that her mother is not a mother anymore, in terms not functioning as a mother, who takes care of her, caresses her and fullfill all her needs. So pity...

So, now, I'm trying my best to pay more attention to her. Two days ago, despite the severe dizziness, I tried to cook her fave dish, and she looked so happy. She could actually finish her meal without any fuss. Today, I spent some quality mother-daughter time with her, reading her fave books, singing nasyids together and asking her about school and friends. Alhamdulillah...she looks more happy now than before.

Ok. Last Saturday, I attended a Kuliah Tafsir Maudhu'iyy by Dato' Dr Siddiq Fadhil, a reknowned scholar. It was so refreshing and interesting. I really wanted to share some info and lessons from that kuliah, but unfortunately not now. InshaAllah I'll try my best to post a review or summary of the kuliah later, and share it with my friends.

Till then, may Allah bless us all.