Make A Prayer...

O people
In a hut made of tin and clay
A small boy dreams away
Of clean water and a meal a day
And not to fear mines as he plays each day

O people
Somewhere dark and out of the way
Aids has found yet another prey
To save his life he just couldn't pay
Tell me what we're going to do
For our brothers in Durban
For our sisters in Darfur

Show me what we're going to do
Are we just going to sit there?
Nice and cosy on our armchairs
Will we not even make a prayer?

You might ask yourself
Why should I help these people?
They'll tell you why


We're not so different from you
We have dreams just like you
But they were buried with the bodies of our loved ones

O people
Are we deaf, dumb, and blind?
What is going through our minds?
Don't we care for the rest of mankind?

O people
We claim to love peace and justice
Why do we preach what we don't practice?
Let's help them out of this darkness
Tell me what we're going to do
For our brothers in Ethiopia
For our sisters in Rwanda,

oooh Show me what we're going to do
Are we just going to sit there?
Nice and cosy on our armchairs
Will we not even make a prayer?
Will we not even make prayer?
Will we not even make prayer...

by Sami Yusuf

Yes...Time is indeed life...

Time is Life

By Khalid Baig

"By the time. Verily Man is in a state of loss. Except such as have Faith and do righteous deeds and exhort one another to Truth and exhort one another to endurance." [al-Asr, 103].

Time is money. So goes the most used metaphor for time in the English language. There is some truth in it as time can be used to produce wealth and wasting time may also mean losing opportunities to produce wealth. Yet this metaphor also implies something about the purpose of life itself that we should examine carefully. If a child says that money is candy, he'll be right in the sense that money can be used to buy candy. But adults will laugh at him because the statement implies that candy is the most important object that money can buy. Similarly "Time is money" implies that money is the most important object in life: One must value time as he or she values money.

Historically this has been one of the key metaphors driving the engine of industrial revolution and technological development in the past few centuries. A lot of inventions and new technique have aimed at saving time and therefore money. And certainly the list of such inventions and their achievements in speed are mind-boggling. Today men, materials, and ideas can be moved from one place to another at an astonishing speed. The tasks that used to take months and years can be finished in minutes. And yet there is something ironic about all this development. Despite the tremendous explosion in time saving gadgets, life has become busier than ever before. Overall we can't show much for all the time that has been saved.

We are very busy, but at the end of the day we can't tell what we have been busy doing. Where all the saved time has gone? In what way our lives have become more productive? Just imagine how Internet has made it possible for information to move all over the world in seconds. And then see how the same medium is being used to waste countless hours in frivolous discussions in chat rooms or meaningless net surfing! The juxtaposition of the time saving and time wasting nature of the same tool brings in full focus the basic problem with the prevalent ideas of time itself.

One may think that the metaphor is not to be blamed for this waste. After all "Time is money" would seem to suggest that no time should be wasted. Actually belittling time by equating it with money allows whiling it away when one has made the money he needs! So people talk about "killing time" and the need for the gadgets that let them kill time. One has to consider time to be much more important than money not to waste it like this!

To put things in perspective a quick historic comparison is in order. Consider the period of early Muslims when none of these technological marvels were available. There is a common notion that people then leisurely lived in sleepy little towns and had little to do. Actually that was a period of unprecedented activity in all aspects of life! Theirs was a period of intense military and political activity during which nearly half the known world came under the banner of Islam. Coming from a most backward part of the world, they introduced a new civilization to the world that was proud of its civilization and its military might. In personal life they used to spend a lot more time in worship than we do, most of them spending big parts of their nights in individual prayers. This would seem to leave a lot less time for other pursuits in life. We also know that means of communications were so poor then, that sometimes they had to travel on horseback for weeks or months to go to another area, say, to collect a report of a hadith from someone who had heard it directly from the Prophet, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Yet during this period and despite all the logistics problems, together they collected the hundreds of thousands of ahadith that have been compiled into various collections and are available today! And this is just one aspect of their work! How in the world did they find time for that?

The answer is simple. They were driven by a different metaphor for time. They valued it as the gift whose proper or improper use would determine the outcome for the eternity. They had listened to the Prophet, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, when he said: "There are two blessings that most people are deluded by. Health and available time." [Bukhari]. They took his advice very seriously when he said: "Value five things before five other things: Youth before old age; health before sickness; affluence before poverty; leisure before becoming too busy; and life before death." [Tirmidhi]. Abdullah bin Hasn (Radi-Allahu unhu) reports that whenever two companions met they would not depart till they had recited sura al-Asr to each other reminding themselves of the eternal loss that everyone faces if we waste away our time in foolish pursuits. They did not waste any moment of their life in gossips, useless talks, or meaningless pursuits.

The difference is clear. We may have a fast car, but if we are riding it for the joy of speed driving, not because we want to get there, we'll never get there. The success of our elders or salaf lies in their overriding sense of purpose and accountability and their concern with using their time very carefully.

Coming closer to our own period we find other examples of a similar nature. Consider the case of Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi, who died about sixty years ago. On the surface he just ran a small monastery and a religious school and was given to spending long periods of time in individual worship. But he also authored about 1200 publications ranging from small booklets to encyclopedic works like "Bahishti Zevar", which has seen millions of copies in print. He also used to answer all his mail everyday, which consisted of dozens and sometimes hundreds of pieces. And he taught many generations of scholars! His secret? A strict discipline born of a deep concern about accountability for time.

We are becoming older every day. One day our time will be up and we'll leave this world forever. What happens afterwards will depend solely on how we used all the moments available to us before that certain but unknown moment comes. Time is life. What is at stake is the entire eternity.

Timeline: Achievements of Muslim Scholars

Achievements in Knowledge

700 CE, 81 A.H Imam Abu Hanifah is born.

713 CE, 94 A.H Imam Malik is born.

740 CE, 123 A.H Imam Abu Hanifah passes away

767 CE, 150 A.H Imam Shafi' is born.

780 CE, 163 A.H Imam ibn Hanbal is born.

798 CE, 182 A.H Imam Malik passes away.

800 CE, 184 A.H Scientific method is developed. Algebra is invented by Al-Khawarizmi. Ibn Firnas invents eyeglasses. Paper starts being produced in large quantities in Muslim lands.

820 CE, 204 A.H Imam Shafi' passes away.

855 CE, 240 A.H Imam ibn Hanbal passes away in Baghdad.

900 CE, 287 A.H Pendulum developed by Yunus Al-Masri.

976 CE, 365 A.H Muhammad bin Ahmad introduces the number zero.

1000 CE, 390 A.H Al-Haytham discovers that white light consists of various rays of colored light. The building of the Great Mosque of Cordoba is completed.

1058 CE, 450 A.H Imam Ghazali is born.

1100 CE, 493 A.H Al-Idrisi constructs a mapped globe and disc-shaped map of the then known world for Roger II of Sicily. Both were made of silver. Muslims introduce negative numbers. Al-Khazini creates a balance scale which is extremely precise and finds the weight of objects within micrograms. (This level of precision was only surpassed in the 20th century.)

1200 CE, 596 A.H Irrational numbers introduced by Kamal Ad-din.

1300 CE, 699 A.H Ibn Battutah travels 75,000 miles.

1400 CE, 802 A.H Value of pendulum for clocks is introduced.

Note: This data is derived from al-balagh site. Most importantly it shows the great achievements of Muslims throughout the time.

Mind Your Words and Language...

The Value of Words

By Khalid Baig

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say something good or keep quiet." [Bukhari]

Famous companion, Sayyidna Muaz ibn Jabal, Radi-Allahu anhu, once asked the Prophet Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, "Tell me about an act that will cause me to enter Paradise and be protected from the Fire." "You have indeed asked something profound," responded the Prophet, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, "But it will be easy on whom Allah makes it easy. Worship Allah and do not associate any partners with Him. Establish regular Salat, pay Zakat, fast during Ramadan, and perform Hajj." Then he asked "Shall I not tell you about the doors of good: fast is a shield (against sins and against Hell-fire), charity extinguishes sins like water extinguishes fire; and the midnight Salat (the voluntary Tahajjud Salat)." Then he recited this verse: "Their limbs do forsake their beds of sleep, while they call on their Lord, in Fear and Hope: and they spend (in charity) out of the sustenance which We have bestowed on them." [As-Sajda 32:16]

Then he continued: "Shall I tell you about the beginning, the mainstay and the high point of this? The beginning is (acceptance of) Islam; It's mainstay is Salat; it's highest point is Jihad."

Then the Prophet, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, asked: "Shall I tell you about the thing on which all this depends?" He, then held his tongue and said "Guard this." Sayyidna Muaz ibn Jabal, Radi-Allahu anhu, asked: "Shall we be questioned about our utterances?" On this the Prophet, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "Most people will be thrown into Hell---face down---because of the transgressions of their tongues."

The ability to speak and express themselves separates human beings from animals. The proper use of this great gift---or its absence---separates the good and successful people from the bad and unsuccessful ones.

Sayyidna Mu'adh's question was about eternal success. In response, the hadith mentions both mandatory and voluntary good deeds that cover a person's entire life. But then we are reminded that the outcome of all these depends upon guarding our tongue. In other words carelessness with the tongue can poke holes in all of our good deeds.

Another hadith highlights the same issue in a different way: "Every morning all the limbs of a person plead with his tongue: 'Fear Allah for our sake, for our fate is tied to yours. If you follow the straight path so shall we. And if you go astray so shall we.'"

Yet another hadith reminds us about the far reaching consequences of the words we utter. "Sometimes a person says something good but he does not realize how far will his words go. Yet it earns him the pleasure of Allah till the day he will meet Him. On the other hand sometimes a person says something bad, although he does not realize how far his words will go. Yet it earns him the wrath of Allah till the day he will meet Him." [Tirmizi, Ibn Maja, Muwwata Imam Malik].

The pre-Islamic Arab society was a very vocal society. While reading and writing were not that common, people did pride themselves in their facility with words---both prose and poetry. A person commanded respect based on his command over words. Using power of words only, they could sink reputations, start wars, and impact life in a similar fashion as modern media has come to demonstrate on a much larger scale. Then, as now, it was raw power like the power of the beasts of the Jungle.

Islam tamed this beast. It reminded us that each and every word we utter is being recorded by the angels and one day we will have to stand accountable for all this record. It reminded that a person's greatness lies not in how powerful he is with words but in how careful is he with them. It reminded that it is better to keep silent than to say something bad. And it is better to say something good than to keep quiet.

The social revolution it engendered was unprecedented. It produced a people who truly understood the value of words and who were as pious with them as they had been powerful. Their silence was the silence of quiet reflection. And they spoke only when they could improve the silence. Is it any wonder that even their extempore statements were pearls of wisdom.

Today, everywhere there are schools that can teach one how to read, write, and speak a language. But their students would never learn how to civilize this raw power; to use it only in promoting truth and spreading virtue; to never use it for promoting falsehood or spreading evil.

There is a lot of unlearning we have to do if we want to get out of this. It is a costly mistake for a believer to think that talk is cheap; that you can say whatever is expedient without any concern for any consequences beyond the immediate ones.

Such attitudes, prevalent today, lead to all kinds of sins: vain pursuits, gossip, dishonesty, insincerity, arrogance, belittling others, backbiting, spreading scandals and corruption, telling lies. Each of these has been clearly defined as a deadly sin by the Qur'an and Hadith. The treatment for each of these sins begins with learning the Islamically responsible use of the tongue. Then there are secondary problems caused in turn by these. In fact most of the problems in the family, in the society, and even between countries are either created or augmented by the irresponsible use of the tongue.

Modern communication technologies have made it possible for messages to be transmitted instantaneously all over the globe. But as the world marvels at these achievements, it continues to confuse the speed of a message with its quality and value. We pride ourselves on the ability to spread trash around the world at the speed of light. Witness the rubbish that continues to dominate the Internet alone. We are amazed by the sophisticated techniques of telling lies in a convincing manner. Witness the modern mainstream media machine and its hold on our thoughts and actions.

The "information age" is begging for the moral guidance of Islam.

My Plea...

My Plea
by Oum Ali b. Abdul Kareem

I come to You with solitary heart
Nearing lifelessness
Eyes closed, soul scarred
Pleas pouring, begging of Your Almightiness

All others are without powers
You are my only real Truth
Help me, Guide me before darkness devours
All pureness of youth

Make my heart smile once again
Just like the time i first knew You
Cleanse me, leaving not a single stain
Bring me back to life, make my being subdue

I'll cry tears of overwhelming delight
Intertwined with drops of fear
Finding its way to my mouth, fuel to recite
Your Words, with Your Guidance i'll persevere

My own words will never be sufficient
To thank You for all blessings bestowed
Truly Merciful, Truly Omniscient
You are the Only One Who can help me to reach The Blessed Abode.

2006-10-04

Annual Concert

Iffato Zaimo...

This is our latest craze and fond in the house...my niece. He's now almost five months. Undoubtedly, the kids love him so much. By the way, who doesn't fall in love with this cute tiny guy?

Graduation

My Wafitos has successfully graduated from his kindergarten, Tadika Elite Ceria. The graduation cum annual concert was held at Puteri Pacific Hotel (mind u, it's a five star hotel) on 12th November. So, cic'is mama, papa, mak, atan (she secretly ran away from hostel) and cik dilla attended the once in a lifetime ceremony. Not only graduation ceremony, the students also performed several amazing performance.

My Afafita performed a Chinese harvest dance, which she has been practicing singing and dancing for the past two weeks at home. My Wafitos did 'Joget Lambak' dance and 'Tari Gemalai', a traditional Malay dance. It was so funny and hilarious to see the kids trying their very best to memorize all the steps and the lyrics. Several of them even cried as soon as they saw many faces staring at them on stage. Those who could overcome their stage fright really deserved 'two thumbs up'.

All the best to the K2 students who will continue their journey of seeking knowledge in Primary One next year. I realise my Cici will absolutely miss his 'gang' and classmates tremendously, as I was more than twenty years ago. Thank you for the teachers, who diligently tried their very best to disseminate knowledge to my kids and nurture the passion of learning in my kids. Now that we're moving to KL next year, we will miss you all. May Allah reward you with His Blessings and Love.

The Other Side of Me...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Inspiring Good Attitudes In Your Children
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There are a few basic and solid life principles that have lasted
through the ages. And these principles are common in all
cultures, religions, and civilizations.

And the main thing they all have in common is not just
preventing bad attitudes from happening and that brat factor
from taking hold, but they cultivate a society whose children
are not spoiled, selfish, defiant, and insensitive but rather
selfless, compassionate, respectful, and empathic. In the
end, they are the kinds of children that we all hope and
dream for.

Different religions, cultures, and spiritual disciplines have
their own unique language in expressing these life principles.

But here is my version of the basic list. It's what we can do
as parents and also convey into all the relationships and
activities in our lives.

1. Be loving. It's the greatest gift and greatest blessing. It's
the basis of all relationships and morality. The more love and
kindness you give, the more you receive. Remember that the
best gift you can give your child is of yourself.

2. Be authentic. Never fake a feeling or act out a phony
behavior. Your children need you to be sincere, genuine, and
your real self at all times.

3. Be positive. Things often turn out on the basis of your way
of looking at it. If you're optimistic and hopeful about the
future, it may turn out to be self-fulfilling.

4. Be persistent. Life is a long-distance run. Perseverance
pays off, so never give up, especially when it comes to
helping your kids.

5. Be active. Don't just sit there. When you have a good idea
or realize something is wrong, be proactive. Your actions will
show your child that the only way to accomplish deeds large
or small is by plunging full speed ahead.

6. Be a good example. Provide the kind of moral model you
want your children to copy. Your child needs someone to look
up to.

7. Be consistent. Regularity, structure, and clear boundaries
create trust. It's what your child needs to feel safe and
secure, so provide it. Very importantly, do what you preach
and you will truly earn the respect of your children. Too many
people in this world do not do what they said and hence they
soon lose the trust of others when people see the true color
in them.

8. Be present. Be here now. Don't let work and other
distractions interfere with remaining in the moment in direct
contact and communication with your child and other loved
ones.

9. Be patient. Slow down and get in sync with your kids. Life
goes by all too quickly, so why speed things up? And don't
forget, change takes time.

10. Be selfless. Get out of your shoes, put your energy into
others, and take your kid along with you on the journey.

11. Be open. Flexibility is strength. Learning new things,
having new ideas, and allowing exposure to other points of
view and ways of being are lessons you need to experience
and pass on to your kids.

12. Be simple. Your child doesn't need a whole lot to be
happy; in fact, less really is better. It will help him develop
appreciation and gratitude for the essential things in life.

13. Be believing. Every human being needs something to live
by: a set of guiding principles, a sense of right and wrong.
You need to be clear, conscious, and consistent with it, so
your child knows where you stand and has the opportunity to
follow.

14. Be empathic. Above all else, the most important virtue
humans can aspire to is the ability to understand and get
inside another person's feelings. Empathy is the effective
antidote to attitudes that are selfish, insensitive, and cruel.
And the best way our children can learn it is by experiencing
our empathy for them.

Yes, it is true that it is not an easy world today for parents
and children. We're living in an uncertain and constantly
changing world. The attitudes we see in our children to some
extent reflect not only our family dynamics, but also the
influence of the world at large. The problem is acute, and the
stakes are high. There are some things way out of our
control, but the one thing we can do is be parents.

Everything we do now is going to have an impact on our
children and their world to come.

Hence stop the blaming, the excusing, the rescuing and
compromising, and start putting all your energy into what
really matters.

When all is said and done, it's not how many goals they
score, what academic degree they achieve, or how much
money they'll make that matters. It's the kind of life they live
and the world in which they live it.

By Alvin Poh

I'm so glad to be yours...

Allah Knows....

When you feel all alone in this world
And there’s nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out
There’s one thing of which there’s no doubt
Allah knows Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows Allah knows
Every grain of sand, I
n every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share,
He knows. Allah knows.

Selamat Pengantin Baru...Sis

To my sis Dilah...

Semoga menjadi isteri solehah....

May Allah bless your new life as a 'wife'....

All the best upon entering the most exciting and challenging phase of your life...

Can I make it through the rain...
Can I stand up once again...
on my own...
Am I strong enough to mend?

After all have been said and done, after all have happened, can I still be inspired again to climb up the stairs of success to reach the top? Can I still have the momentum to take up all the challenges and trials along my way to gain self-satisfaction and self-contentment?

Yes, I absolutely can, if I can comprehend Allah's- The Most Knowledgeable- plan for me and my life. Since Allah is my Creator, my Lord, I must always believe in His Mercy upon me. Allah will never change my destiny if I keep on mourning over my unsuccessful efforts and unaccomplished goals.

So, I must leave behind all my sadness, my failures, my sacrifice, my grief, my frustration...and start making new and fresh move.

And every time I feel afraid... I hold tighter to my faith... And I live one more day... And I make it through the rain...

Go DM go...
U're on your way...

Top 10 Tips on Buying Baby Clothes

A simple guide to shop for baby apparel without wasting money.

by Maria Zain

Shopping for baby clothes can be overwhelming, especially for new parents. Find top 10 tips on dressing up your new bundle of joy without much tension and too much money.

Anticipating the arrival of a new baby can be the most exciting time in expecting parents' lives. Shopping for the new bundle of joy is equally fun with the vast collection of baby goodies that grace shopping malls. Many parents enjoy shopping for baby clothes as they are the most personal items a child will have in the first few months of life. Even more so, baby clothes are so cute to look at.

With so many brands, makes, fabrics, sizes, colours and types to choose from, shopping for baby apparel can be harder done than said. It is easy for new parents to lose themselves in the myriad of shelves and may find difficulty in choosing a simple outfit when there are so many versions to choose from.

Here is a simple guide that will make shopping for baby easier. In fact, it will help parents save money on top of all the other baby expenses new parents have to incur.

(1) Only buy a few pairs of clothes per growth stage.

Healthy babies grow very quickly. All they do for the first few weeks of life is sleep, nurse and dirty their diapers. When shopping therefore, only pick out a few outfits per growth stage. Four to six pieces of apparel that will be able to accomodate baby's growth for every three months should suffice.

(2) Pick out fabrics wisely

Pick out fabircs that are breathable and comfortable. This would mean those that are high in cotton content. It helps baby's skin breathe easier and reduces the risk of skin irritations. Baby's skin has been protected all this while in the womb and the external environment may be harsh for him or her. Wearing the right fabrics will help wean baby into his or her new environment.

(3) Choose one-pieces over two-pieces

After a few days and weeks of continuous feeding, little bellies tend to grow into round bellies. A two-piece suit is made out of a top and trousers with an elastic band around the belly. One-pieces play to an advantage as they do not cause discomfort to baby's tummy or his or her umblical cord, if it is still attached. One-pieces, with buttons at the crotch area, also allow baby to breathe easier and more space to expand through more nursing.

(4) Pick popper buttons over normal buttons

When changing baby, it is easier to change in and out of clothes with metal popper buttons as opposed to normal buttons used in adult or bigger children clothing. They button and unbutton faster. This is advantageous if baby is fretful or cold and keeps frustration at bay when in a hurry.

(5) Differentiate clothes for night and day

The weather is different during the day than it is at night and baby's do not acclimatise as well as parents do. Buy lighter clothes during the day and thicker ones as pyjamas for a doon night's sleep. Babies cry when they are too hot or too cold and when baby cries, especially at night, no one sleeps well.

(6) Buy clothes in packs

Many brands sell clothes in threes or sixes. These packages are usually cheaper and come in different designs. Buying one pack of six onesies, will be sufficient for baby a duration of at least 3 months.

(7) Choose higher-end brands

Not only is better quality clothes better for baby, parents will be able to keep these items for younger siblings. Since babies outgrow their clothes rapidly, better quality clothes will still be in good condition to be handed down to little brother or sister.

(8) Keep colours neutral

If parents are particular for baby girls to be dressed in pink and baby boys in blue, it is best to buy neutral coloured clothing before baby is born. No matter how many sonograms mum has had or how many old wives' tales she has tested, the gender of the baby is determined for certain when he or she is born. Therefore, buy neutral-coloured clothes like white and yellow. Mum and dad can shop slowly for the pinks or blues later.

(9) Look out for bargain items

Shop when there is a sale or stock clearance. Babies do not have to be subjected to fashion statements. As long as baby is comfortable, the hip and happening image for an infant should be the last of a parent's worries.

(10) Be realistic when shopping

Parents, as partners, will be making decisions for their children until they are old enough to think for themselves. Parents should think wisely when shopping and spend in accordance to their means. They should also restrain themselves from overdoing their shopping as this will place unnecessary financial strain on their baby budget. Children do cost money and parents should be mature and rational enough to budget smartly.

I wish I could be a good writer....

I wish I could be a good writer...
I have so many things in my mind...
That I want to share with the others...
But I couldn't express my ideas and thoughts profoundly and clearly...
I have always wanted to have a blog or personal homepage...
That could benefit many others out there...
Through thought sharing and discussion...

Could anyone help me ?
May Allah gives me this writing skills... :))

Teaching children good manners

Just as a child should be taught ritual acts of worship, he should also be taught good habits and etiquette until they become second nature to him. The Prophet [peace be upon him ] said: "Believers who have the most perfect Iman (faith) are those who have the best manners."

Good manners are an acquired trait that must be adopted from a young age. Of such manners are the following:

1. Teaching the child to be respectful and dutiful to his parents:

The first person from whom a child learns good manners is the father. If a child is raised in a good Islamic home, then it would be natural for him to treat his parents respectfully.

Allah says: "And your Rabb (Lord) has decreed that you should worship none but Him and be kind to parents. If one or both of them reach old age during your lifetime, never say 'uff' (an expression of displeasure), nor scold them, but address them politely. And humble yourself to them out of mercy and say, 'O my Rabb (Lord,) be merciful to them for having reared me from young age.'" (Holy Qur'an, 17: 23, 24)

2. Teaching them to maintain good relations with relatives:

Sound rearing also stipulates teaching children to maintain good relations with their relatives. Allah says: 'Worship Allah, and associate no partners with Him, and be kind to parents, next of kin, the orphans, the needy, the related neighbors, the next-door neighbors, the wayfarer and to the slaves that you own." (Holy Qur'an, 4: 36)

The fulfillment of this Divine command can be accomplished only by sound rearing which makes them grow attached to their relatives out of obedience to Allah.

Since relatives are an extension of the family, then strengthening ties with them strengthens the whole family and it is like strengthening the whole community and this reflects an Islamic community that enjoys a cohesive structure. The Prophet said: "The believers in their reciprocal love and mercy are like a human body, when one of its organs suffer, the rest of the body is kept awake and suffers fever."

3. Inculcating in children brotherly love:

Brotherly love and believers' solidarity must be embedded in the children's minds and that the believers are brothers-in-faith. For example to follow the pious predecessors, the Muhajireen and the Ansar, whose brotherly love and altruism Allah commends in His Book.

Giving a friendly gesture or a happy greeting to Muslim brothers generates friendliness in their hearts and, strengthens the love among the believers. This indeed is a fine trait, which is instructed by Allah, the Exalted. He describes the believers saying: "They are merciful to one another but harsh to the infidels." (Holy Qur'an, 48: 29)

Allah also addressed His Messenger saying: "And were you to be harsh and hard-hearted, they would have broken away from you." (Holy Qur'an, 3:159)

4. Good words:

Giving a good word is a type of remembrance of Allah, telling the truth, guarding one's own tongue against slandering other people are good deeds. The best Muslim, according to the Prophet is the one from whose tongue the Muslims feel safe.

Parents should make their children aware of the gravity of abusing others with their tongue and of the fact that the tongue is a double-sided and dangerous weapon. Therefore, they should be warned in particular against abusing it.

Warning children against backbiting and slandering

Children should be taught that backbiting is speaking slanderously about an absent person. The Prophet said: "Do you know what is Gheebah (backbiting)?" They said: "Allah and His Messenger know best." He said: "It is to attribute to your brother what he dislikes." He was asked: "What do you think if what I say about my brother is true?" He said: "If what you attribute to him is true, then you have backbitten him, and if it is not true, then you have lied about him."

While Nameemah (talebearing) is to circulate slanderous rumors between two persons to damage or sever the ties between them. The Prophet said: "No Nammam (talebearer) will be admitted to Jannah (Paradise)."

Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is forbidden in Islam.

Warning them against lying

Children must be taught to tell the truth and to keep away from lying, which is the most horrible habit. The Prophet said: "There are four traits whoever possesses them is a sheer hypocrite, and he who possesses one of them, possesses a trait of hypocrisy unless he quits it. They are: when he speaks, he tells lies; and when he enters into an agreement, he acts unfaithfully; and when he promises, he breaches his promise; and when he litigates, he behaves treacherously. While the liar receives the anger of Allah on the Day of Resurrection."

He also said: "Lying leads to Hell-Fire and truthfulness leads to Jannah."

Parents should not take this evil habit lightly, or consider it funny when their children tell lies because later on it becomes easy for them to lie without any compunction.

Abusing others

Among the worst of manners is reviling people and swearing at them. If this bad habit is not redressed while the child is growing up, it becomes hard for him to avoid it later on.

Islam enjoins guarding the tongues. The Prophet said: "He who guarantees, what is in between his jaws (tongue), and what is in between his thighs (private parts), I guarantee Jannah for him."

This means guarding one's own tongue against uttering anything that displeases Allah, and guarding one's own private parts against committing illicit acts or fornication.

(extracted from muslimchild blog)

Kerana mulut, badan binasa...

Perkara ini kerap dilakukan kaum wanita di bawah sedar tetapi sangat membinasakan perhubungan. Untuk wanita yang sudah berumahtangga kena lebih awas dengan sifat ini. Elakkan daripada mengamalkannya kerana ianya tidak membawa sebarang kebaikan kepada perhubungan. Wanita sering menuduh dan tidak perasan yang mereka melakukannya. Penggunaan perkataan “tak pernah”, “selalu”, “memang”, antara yang sangat bahaya akan tetapi selalu sangat digunakan oleh kaum Hawa untuk membantai pasangannya.

Katalah hati sakit kerana dia tidak melakukan sesuatu yang anda inginkan. Dialog atau tuduhan yang akan keluar ialah “You tak pernah care pasal I!” atau “Abang tak pernah nak buat apa-apa untuk saya!”. Lantas, hati si lelaki tadi akan berdarah kerana tak mungkin aku tak pernah melakukan apa-apa untukmu, sayangku. Kenapa kau menuduh aku sebegitu teruk sekali? Adakah aku ini tak berguna langsung?, itu yang difikir lelaki yang dituduh kamu. Atau “You selalu berperangai macam ni.” Ouch! “Abang selalu buat tak endah apa yang saya suruh!”. Dan apabila perasaan marah memuncak “You memang tak sayang I!!!! Atau “Abang memang tak hiraukan saya!!!” Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Lelehan darah di hati para lelaki semakin mengalir dirobek oleh kekasihnya itu.

Untuk mengekalkan perhubungan, elakkan daripada menggunakan perkataan-perkataan general yang sebegini. Tidak adil untuk si dia. Gunakan perkataan-perkataan yang positif dan sekiranya anda ingin tekankan tentang sesuatu topik, gunakan topik itu sahaja, jangan di’am’kan tujuan anda. “You tak sms I pun tadi masa lunch. Next time smslah, ok.” Adalah lebih baik daripada “You tak pernah care pasal I, tak sms pun!”. “Abang lupa beli magazine yang saya kirim tadi” adalah lebih baik daripada “Abang tak pernah nak buat apa-apa untuk saya”. Atau “Abang tak buang sampah yang saya suruh tadi. Nanti berbau lah rumah” adalah lebih baik daripada “Saya sorang je buat kerja kat rumah ni, suruh tolong sikit pun tak boleh!” Gunakan peristiwa yang spesifik dan jangan hentam general terhadap semua aduan yang ingin anda buat.

Satu lagi yang perlu dielakkan ialah menuduh perkara yang belum terjadi. Contohnya suami anda berpakaian kemas dan bergaya kerana hari ini dia ada meeting dengan important client. Melihat kelainannya pada hari ini anda terus mengeluarkan komen, “Nak pergi jumpa girlfriend ke pakai bukan main smart ni?” Lelaki tidak gemar komen-komen sinis begini. Kalau kita pun kena sindir pagi-pagi, sakit hati juga. Dan perlu diingat, cakap banyak-banyak kali jadi doa. Jadi janganlah doakan dia ada girlfriend ye. Daripada cakap ayat itu, mulakan pagi dengan “Amboi… handsomenya suami saya ni. Bertuah sungguh dapat husband kacak bergaya” atau “Masih kacak lagi husband I ni, teruja tengok.” Bukan sahaja dia akan gembira, anda juga akan dapat perasaan positif itu.

Kalau suami balik lambat sikit dan telefon anda untuk memberitahu, janganlah jawab begini “Alah…. Orang lain takde lah kerja sampai lewat macam abang, entah-entah pergi ke mana..” sedih suami mendengar kerana kerja kuat pun dikutuk isteri. Hati nak balik rumah pun jadi hambar. Adalah lebih baik kalau dijawab begini “Ye ke? Kesian suami mama kerja kuat. Lepas kerja terus balik ye. Rindulah.” Suami mana yang tak nak bergegas balik jumpa anak isteri? Tuduhan begini tidak mendatangkan kebaikan kepada perhubungan. Kita pun tidak suka dituduh yang bukan-bukan. Katalah kita shopping balik lambat sikit dan sampai sahaja di muka pintu suami menyindir “Amboi lamanya pergi shopping. Pergi shopping ke pergi jumpa boyfriend ni?”. Berdesing juga telinga. Dahlah penat membeli barang, kena tuduh lagi. Begitulah juga perasaan mereka apabila dituduh membabi buta.

Apabila berbicara, gunakan perkataan-perkataan positif. Daripada hantar mesej “Abang ni tak ingat sayalah!” adalah lebih baik menghantar “Saya rindu Abang.” Perkataan yang baik-baik akan menghasilkan reaksi yang baik-baik. Jangan impikan reaksi yang cintan cintun romantis apabila perkataan yang anda gunakan bagaikan sudah sedia untuk berbalah. Mulakan hari baru anda dengan azam untuk menjaga tutur kata dalam perhubungan agar ikatan lebih mesra dan berpanjangan.

(dipetik dari gua.com.my)

Could anyone help me please?

So many works to do...
Don't know which one to start with
Hope I could have more than 24 hours per day

So many things to be settled
Abundant of tasks to be completed
before going to London....
hmmm...
So tiring....

The right approach....

These are some notes on what do women really want from men, quoted from 'love' blog.

What do women want from men? Men have been asking this question ever since Eve and her infamous apple. What did she want of him? Women have long since dismissed Adam and his apple from mind. They’ve moved on to other things. And, surprisingly, what they actually want from men are the simpler things in life. Check this out.

**Cook a meal for her occasionally. Not one of your many talents? Oh well, she’ll even settle for a cup of tea. Or maybe even a plate of snacks. It’s just the thought that counts, anyway.

**Send her a card for no reason at all. It’s guaranteed to sweep her off her feet. Women usually don’t need a reason to feel special.

**Women are like little puppies. They can take a lot of affection. So, don’t hold back, guys. A warm hug can go a long way.

**Come home early once in a while because ‘you were in a mood to spend time with her’. And for God’s sake, spend time with her!

**Make her feel wanted. “Sit next to me, it makes me feel more relaxed.” Which woman can resist a line like that?

**Give her a foot massage once in a while. It’s soothing and it’s sensual.

**Understand her bad days. Don’t put it all down to PMS. Believe me, there is nothing more irritating than that.

**There are two sides to every woman. She’s got her virtues and her vices. Accept both sides as an integral part of her.

**Tell her you’re glad she’s not just a pretty face.There’s so much more to her than just that.

**Women love men who laugh easily. A sense of the ridiculous is often very appealing.

**Spontaneous action! Be it a weekend away, a movie or a shopping spree. Too much of planning gets boring!

p/s: this post is dedicated to my hubby....:))

Strategies to Help a Child Excels in Studies

We know that some children do well in school. They learn
quickly and remember facts and understand concepts well.

At the same time, there are some who don't do so well. They
are having trouble paying attention. Their grades are poor.
Yet they may be as smart as or even smarter than their
successful schoolmates.

Why the difference in performance?

It may not be an issue of I.Q. but of behavior and attitude.

Successful students behave in certain ways:

- they have the right attitude
- they're motivated
- they pay attention
- they're relaxed
- they ignore distractions that might interfere with learning and
- when they need help with their studies, they know how to get it.

The good news is that none of these things are inborn. They
are learnt and can be learned by every student.

There are basically four steps to help your children to excel in
their studies and learning. And these steps are applicable to
children at all levels.

They sound very simple, because they really are. But they
can make a world of difference to your youngsters.

Below are the four steps and parents can teach their children
strategies to help them in the learning process:

1) Paying attention
2) Keeping interested in schoolwork
3) Learning and remembering
4) Studying

Paying Attention

Getting children to pay attention is something that can be
trained. Never threaten or order children to "pay attention" in
school as it won't work!

Here are a few simple techniques that my wife and I use to
help Ethel, our 6-year-old daughter, learns in school and at
home. And they have proven to work well. Hence you may
want to consider applying them in your family.

a) Teach your children to practice positive self-talk and create
positive images in their daily life and activities that they do.

For example, they can tell themselves to keep their eyes on
the white board while the teacher is writing on it to explain a
problem.

You can help them practice positive self-talk at home in
various situations: when playing a game, helping around the
house, or working at a hobby. We personally use this method
many times to encourage and motivate Ethel in her music
piano learning and studies at school.

Help children stop negative self-talk (e.g. "It's just too hard, I
can't do it."). Train them to have a positive mind set, instead
say, "Yes, I can do it."

Also, train your children to have plosive images about
themselves and no more negative picture. Children can and
must learn to see themselves doing well in school and in
anything that they do.

Tell them to picture themselves answering questions correctly
in class and feeling good about knowing the answers. Spend
time talking with them about their successes as well as their
challenges in learning.

b) Asking questions. This helps children focus their attention
while studying. For example, when reading about history of
Singapore, students might ask themselves "Who is Mr. Lee
Kwan Yew?", "What are some of Mr. Lee's biggest
contributions to Singapore?", "Why so people in the world
have such high regards for Mr. Lee?"

You can suggest general questions to your child, such as:
"What is this paragraph about? Who did what and why? Is
the main point true or false?" Asking questions can grab
wandering attention.

c) Setting specific study goals. Your children can set goals
that will help improve attention. Ask them to study a lesson
until they can tell you the main point of the paragraph. Or
solve a specific math problem. Or know specific names,
dates, and places mentioned in the text.

Discuss each goal with your children. Remember that many
small goals, one after another, are better than a single large
one.


Keeping Interested In Schoolwork

Learning is a joint effort. Everyone must help if students are
to learn. Teachers are responsible for teaching and parents
for parenting, but students must realize that no one else can
do their learning for them.

Children must believe that the hours they spend studying
and the effort they put into it make the difference between
success and failure. Some youngsters believe other things
control success/failure-teachers, basic intelligence, or luck.
They ignore their own responsibility.

You can help your children accept the fact that their efforts do
make a difference. The next time they bring home test
results, written comments, or report cards, discuss the
reasons why they did well or poorly. These help them to
understand how their efforts relate to the result.

Whenever your child shows improvement, rewards him.
Reward can be something of material such as treats or trips
or privileges for special achievements. However the best
form of reward is often the simple praise and words of
encouragement. Your praise is music to your child's ears.

Learning And Remembering

A child's success in school is determined not just by
intelligence but by the strategies he or she uses to master
many facts, ideas and concepts.

Understanding a subject doesn't just happen. It takes work.
It requires taking an interest in the topic, and associating
new information to familiar information.

Besides teaching the strategies for paying attention, you can
help your child use various strategies to remember. You can
decide how best to adapt a particular strategy.

Here are some of them:

a) Making inferences. Encourage your children to try to draw
conclusions from the material they are studying. When they
are reading about an invention such as the refrigerator, they
could consider what people would do without refrigerator.

b) Building bridges. It helps children to build a bridge
between the new and the old; between new information and
things they already know. They should look for similarities
between the new and the familiar. For example, a child who
is reading about the computer system could relate how he is
using the computer to help him in his school work and how
computers are being used in various ways to improve the life
of mankind.

c) Finding the main ideas. As students listen or read, they
must frequently ask themselves, "What's the point being
made here?" By constantly looking for the main idea, they
concentrate on learning the important material. This also
helps to keep them actively engaged in studying.

d) Categorizing information. Many school activities involve
learning and remembering large amounts of information.
Sometimes there are long lists of names and dates. When
there are many items of information to learn, students should
group them in categories. Students in beginning music
classes don't try to remember the names and characteristics
of every musical instrument, but group them: percussion,
woodwinds, strings, and brass. Your children should try this
technique in subjects ranging from geography to English to
math.

Studying

Your children need a place to study. Whether you live in a
one-bedroom apartment or a 3-storey landed property, you
can set aside a study area. It can be a desk in a bedroom or
kitchen table. But it must be fairly quiet with good light.

Children also need a time for studying. Help your children
create a time-table for studies. If they set aside time for
chores, work, fun, and study on a weekly basis, they can
make better use of their time. These schedules should be
flexible enough to allow trade-offs and shifts when
necessary. If you have teenage children at home, a good
book to recommend them for reading with regards to the
topic of planning their time is "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
Teenagers" by Sean Covey.

Previewing material. Encourage children to begin an
assignment by previewing the material-for example, by
reading the introduction to a chapter, the headings, and
summary. This is like looking at a road map. Here they create
a mental "map" of what is ahead. They complete the "map's"
details when they read the chapter.

Reading and thinking. When reading the chapter, they should
try to fit details into their mental "map." This is the time to
use the attention-grabbing strategies-self-talk, positive
images, and questions. It helps if they pause before each
new section to "test" their understanding. Using the
strategies for learning and remembering, they can ask:
"What conclusions can I draw from this? How should I
categorize the information? Do I see analogies? What are the
main ideas?"

Taking notes. Children can't remember everything they read.
It will help them, though, to take notes of the main points.

These notes serve as a summary of the most important
points. The act of taking them and reviewing them will help
the student to categorize the material, understand, and
remember it. And the notes will help in preparing for tests
and exams.

Self-testing. Children should test themselves to see what
they know and don't know. They can then apply their study
time more efficiently to the sections on which they are
weakest. Parents can help by making up test questions. For
example when your child is studying geography of a
particular country, you can ask him questions like "What are
the chief agriculture products of the country being studied?
Why?"

Preparing for Tests. Encourage your children to prepare for
tests by spacing studying over days or weeks. They should
make sure they understand the material and relate it to what
they already know. They should review it more than once.

Cramming" the night before is not a good idea, and it is
important to get a good night's sleep.


by Alvin Poh