Afafita's Saloon...

My little princess is very obsessed with cleanliness, beauty and appearance. Frankly speaking, I don't have any idea where did the genes come from. I'm not the kind of woman who's world revolves within beauty and beauty-care. So do my husband. So, when Afafita shows her profound interest in beauty-consciousness, both of us are really puzzled and wondering, where on earth does this little girl inherits this attitude.

Besides imagining herself as a teacher or a doctor in the future, this 5 years old little girl always portray herself as an owner of a saloon or spa center! Of late, she always beg me to be her customer and allow her to do a "makeover" on me. Of course, I always succumb to her begging since there is no other female person in this house and furthermore...having someone playing with your hair and face is so relaxing! Sometimes, I could fall asleep too!

Usually early in the morning, she would write a notice on her pink whiteboard: "HARI INI KENE BUKA SELON. PAGI INI BUKA SELON, MALAM INI BUKA SELON". That's how she wrote the notice of her "business hour" on the board, and hung it on the doorknob. Then, she would prepare all the saloon kit including comb, hairbands, a glass of water (to damp the hair upon combing), her strawberry perfume, lipstick and compact powder (she took it from my handbag) and her toy camera. After she finished with the hairstyling and makeover, she would take a picture of her customer. 

That's my Afafita...the saloon girl. 

Apa nak jadi...

Hari minggu yg lepas, Mama mia secara tak sengaja tertengok sebuah rancangan ujibakat realiti TV mencari penyanyi yg terkini di TV3. Mmg bukan sesuatu yg ditunggu2..cuma mlm tu...mcm kepenatan, tapi nak tidor awal, blm ngantuk sgt. Almaklumlah...sejak ngandung nie, Mama Mia mmg kena penyakit tidor lewat mlm, selagi jarum jam ta mencecah pukul 12 mlm....tak masuk bilik tidurlah. 

Rancangan tersebut menayangkan proses ujibakat yg diadakan si seluruh negara Malaysia ini. Wah..mcm satu misi yg sgt hebat..lebih hebat dan happening dpd misi mencari angkasawan. Al-kisahnya...berbondong-bondonglah warga Malaysia yg teringin sgt nak bergelar penyanyi dtg ke audition session yg kebanyakannya diadakan di pusat membeli belah yg besar. Kebanyakan dpd mereka tu masih remaja...kalau tak pun pemuda pemudi yg sepatutnya menjadi harapan bangsa, ibu pertiwi dan agama untuk menjadi generasi pelapis yg akan mengembangkan lagi tamadun dan pembangunan negara. 

Amat menyedihkan melihatkan pemuda-pemudi nie yg tanpa segan silu dan tak sedar diri mencuba nasib, walaupun mereka mmg tahu sejak azali lagi mereka TAKDA bakat langsung menyanyi. Tak dinafikan...ada sesetengah gelagat mereka agak menghiburkan hati...sebab dgn selambanya dan muka tebalnya menyanyi pitching lari...tak ikut tempo dan tak hafal lirik. Tak usah kata juri..Mama Mia yg tau serba sedikit ilmu muzik dan baca note (sebab belajar di zmn sekolah rendah dulu) ni pun tau, diorang tak boleh langsung menyanyi. Ada pula yg sanggup merayu-rayu juri, mcm org merayu nak minta makan sebab kebuluran, semata2 tak puas hati dna perasan yg diri itu berbakat dan mempunyai peluang yg cerah untuk jd superstar...heheh. Kesian.

Mama mia bukannya nak mengutuk mereka...tapi sebenarnya deep inside my heart, rasa sedih gak....kalau mcm nilah generasi muda Malaysia....terlalu obses dgn glamour, obses sgt nak jadi artis..leka dgn hiburan...tak mustahil setakat nie ajelah pembangunan dan kemajuan yg akan kita kecapi di negara kita nie. Jgn haraplah nak capai Wawasan 2020 ker...Wawasan 2030 ker....

Mama mia juga rasa takut..sebab, terfikir...mcm manalah nak mendidik dan membesarkan anak2 cucu kelak jika inilah trend dan obsesi masyarakat muda kita hari ini. Mama mia berdoa..semoga Allah lindungi dan jauhi anak2 dan zuriat dpd terpengaruh dgn anasir2 dna budaya sebegini. Sunggh mencabar rasanya nak membesarkan anak di zaman sekarang nie...

  

The 38 weeks..

Alhamdulillah..

Akhirnya sampai gak minggu 38 nie. Dlm pada suspense takut bersalin before 38 weeks...tak sangka Allah membantu hambaNya yg selalu berdoa, supaya kalau boleh jgnlah bersalin last week, or before 24 oktober. Sebenarnya bukan nak tolak takdir atau tak tawakkal...cuma berharap agar Mama Mia tak menyusahkan org lain, especially Papa dan anak2 yg sedang exam. Kalau ikutkan hati..dah tak tahan dah nie...perut terasa berat sgt...selalu sakit pinggang...dah tak boleh nak shopping or jejalan, buat kerja rumah pun tak segagah dulu. Ikutkan hati...nak jer keluarkan cepat2..bak kata Afafita.. "Mama go to the hospital..take the baby out. Dah lama the baby inside Mama's stomach".

Akhirnya besok hari terakhir bebudak ni final exam. It means..seksa Mama Mia akan berakhirlah. alhamdulillah. Bolehlah pas nie kerahkan diorang kemas tingkat atas..bilik diorang..kemas study room, dan pakaian yg nak dibawa ke JB bila Mama mia berpantang kat kampung nanti. Tak payahlah Mama mia jadi bukak kelas tuisyen ngajar diorang every nite.

Ramai kekawan dan sedara mara ingatkan Mama mia dah bersalin. Especially recently Mamamia buzy ngan the kids, agak menyepi sikit.  Ramai yg contact. Yelah..last week...perut nie sakit teruk....ingatkan dah nak bersalin dah. So diorang ingatkan dah selamat.

Laptop Mammia Sony vaio adik pinjam pulak. Banyak bhn belajar dan bhn2 yg nak diupload ke blog kat dlm laptop tu. Sekarang nie pakai Papa punya Macbook..tak berapa pandai sgt pakai Mac nie. 

Oklah for today. Dah ngantuk nie.  

A pretty much not so exciting weekend at the hotel..

As planned weeks before, we eventually followed hubby for a two nights stay at a hotel in PJ. I brought along all the necessary documents and things to bring to the hospital in case of emergency. On Friday, I managed to clean the house, did all the laundry and prepare the clothes and things needed to bring along. Most importantly, I made sure CHichi's and Afafita's books are all packed in their backpack for revision during the stay. 

We arrived at the hotel around 8.30pm. After the registration and check-in routine, we had a buffet dinner at the hotel's cafe. Wow..memanglah rezeki, kebetulan blm dinner lagi. The food can be considered as biasa-biasa jer..cos there were no Western food available. Having said that, I really loved the cakes and the appetizers. 

Our weekend at the hotel turned out to be not so exciting as expected by the kids. As for me, it was a blessed two days relaxing on the bed, having breakfast on the bed, watching the movies, without having to think of all the unfinished chores and must-do list of works at home. But, for the kids, it was a very dull and unexciting two days of a hotel stay. They couldn't enjoy much of the stay since Mama had prepared a very strict revision timetable for both of them! 

Chichi and Afafita spent most of their times during the stay with revision. The are going to start sitting for their final exams today (Monday). So pity. However, they could still enjoy the warm shower in the bathtub and watching some programs (to be specific cartoons) on Astro. (plz note that we are the only one who don't subscribe the Astro in our neighbourhood). On top of that, they enjoyed the hotel meal...and room service orders.

Now, it's back to life. Back to reality. No more air-con, Astro, bathtub, room service and the one that I really love..the housekeeping!

 

Acah jer...

Rasanya semalam tu mmg betul lah false labor...heheh. Buat panick jer. Dah contact mak kat kampung suh pack pakaian and barang yg perlu....dah suh anak2 prepare mentally..manalah tau kena gi hospital tgh2 mlm.

Rupanya acah jer. Agaknya semalam tu byk sgt kerja buat. Kemas living room, study room, basuh pakaian, basuh beg afafita, sport shoes and sandal afafita...etc. Agaknya sakit pinggang sebab byk buat kerja.

Mudah2an baby nie faham..dia nak tunggu after 21 october barulah dia keluar. Dia tak nak susahkan Papa yg byk kerja sekarang nie. Dia nak bagi chance Mama Mia tolong Abang and Kakak buat revision untuk exam dulu. 

Apa2 pun sebenarnya Mama Mia tak kisah dah..bila2 nak keluar..sebab Mama Mia pun dah mula rasa tak larat dgn kaki yg bengkak, asyik nak ke toilet jer dan lower abdomen yg selalu sakit.

Air dicincang tak akan putus...

Terjumpa semula gambar nie....waktu tu di Lumut, Perak around May 2007. Budak2 nie nampak mcm loving couple pulak...tapi mcm tulah diorang nie dulu2...sekarang...as they grow up...they starts to quarrel and fight with each other more frequent. I think it's a normal progress among the kids...sebab as they grow, they will start to feel that playing with siblings alone has become somewhat a bored routine in their lives. They will begin to find out that they need other friends, who can share the same interests, and...most importantly the same gender!

For instance...CHichi feels that playing play-do, or masak2 with her sister is no longer adventurous or exciting; he now looks for some new type of rough game, like "the SWAT team war against USA" (he always imagine he is in the special SWAT team, and the enemy is USA..hahah). Meanwhile, Afafita thought that she can't open her saloon and ask her bro to be her client, so that she can make some new hairstyles and put some make up on him. (usually, I'm her one and only client....but I really enjoy it. It's sooo relaxing sitting on the couch or lazy chair, while an amateur hairstylist do a "makeover" on me. I mean..totally makeover, that u can't even recognize urself afterwards....because u'll find urself has become the clone of ugly betty).

That's why, nowadays..at the age of 5 and 7..both of them needs other same gender friends. Chichi has several best friends at school and also in our neighbourhood, which he meets at the surau everyday. Afafita is quite obsessed with her "alia sofia, nur liyana, nabiha and nasuha"...of whom she finds a more enjoyable companionship.

Having said that...I can see that they still love each other very much. They often "sakitkan hati masing2", but not to the extend hitting each other or spanking or yelling. They still need each other, and there are times that they can really have true fun playing together at home...running around the house with laughters.

Siblings are like that. No matter how we hate or disagree with them...we still need and love them. 

Air dicincang tak akan putus.  

Is it a false labor?

This may be a very short entry. I've been feeling this uncomfortable backache since asar today. I'm not pretty sure of it; is it because of the hovering and chores that I've done today, or is it a sign of the early labour stage? Eventhough this is not my first delivery, I'm still confused and unable to define and differentiate between intense Braxton Hicks (which may become the false labour) and the contraction in the early stage of labour. Oh....I hope Allah will make it smooth for me. I've called my parents to pack up their things...just in case I'm going to the labor room later tonight or tomorrow. I need them as my caregivers during the early days after delivery. I asked hubby to buy some "tamar", since the it's out of stock in our home. I learnt that tamar is good for a mother in the labour stage and after the delivery. I ate tamar as much as I could during my last labour. Since the backache is not getting serious or more intense after 5 hours, I think it is just a false labour! So..tonite, I spent my time sitting with the kids....helping them out with their revisions for the final exam this coming monday. 

Tomorrow evening, after asar, if there's still no signs of labor, I guess, I'll follow hubby spend the night at the hotel in PJ. He has do be there, to coordinate an important program with the Kementerian Pelajaran. I think it's better for me to stay close with him, rather than staying at home, and calling him if anything happens.

Dah turun!!!!

Yesterday, I met my gynae again. From now on, I have to meet her once a week until the delivery. Well, updates on me and my pregnancy: The baby has gained 600 gram in a fortnight, that means she's approximately 3 kg now. Her estimated week thru the ultrasound scan is 38 plus, but according to the doctor's estimation, she's only going to 37 weeks. It means she has quite a big head diameter. Her amniotic fluid is still plenty, her head is in the right position, but most importantly...the doctor said surprisingly "eh...baby dah turun! Cepatnya!!".

Ya Allah! Dah turun??? No wonder I have this feeling that my belly is becoming smaller and looks more compact than ever. Bukannya makin kecil....but actually baby dah kemaskan and siapkan diri to go down "the tunnel". Dah turun..it means...she could come out anytime... just depends on whatever Allah has planned and written in the Luh al-Mahfuz.

I keep on pushing the doctor to give me an expected new date of delivery. Is there any possibility that I may deliver her in a few days or maybe next week? But of course...the doctor couldn't give me the exact date. She smillingly said," it all depends on ur lifestyle and activities..the baby is down already, ready to be in the delivery position, if there are strong contractions, pressures and if u are very active...she would just come out at any time".

Alamak. suspense betul.

And what makes me more nervous is....I can feel the Braxton Hicks and tightening are getting more frequent and stronger nowadays.

Hubby lagilah nervous. Kalau boleh....he wished that I can postpone the delivery until after 21 october. heheh. Yelah tu. 

So now..kenalah Mama mia slow down segala activities and daily routines. Kalau tak nak masak pun takper...ada excuse! heheh. Ini peluang yg baik.......sebab lately mmg MALAS dan takder moos langsung nak masak. Kalau masak pun setakat goreng ikan...sup sayur.....itupun sebab kenangkan hubby dan anak2 yg kelaparan.

Marhaban....

Waktu kecik2, selalu kumpulan Marhaban di taman perumahan Mama Mia dtg ke rumah semasa Syawal. They used to be almost 40 people in a group. They would go around the participating houses, reciting some tahlil or Marhaban dan doa selamat, and the host would prepare some food for them. I used to join my "sekolah agama" Marhaban group (actually I was forced to join it by my teacher) and at times, we visited almost 4 or 5 houses per night. I went home at 11 pm with a full stomach. When we were kids, there's nothing more enjoyable than eating a variety of food at other people's houses, visiting them and getting some "duit raya".  It was so fun, as we could also meet our friends and went around showing off our colourful, new Hari Raya attires. 

The good old days. 20 years ago.

A few days ago (to be specific on Sunday nite), hubby and Chichi joined our neighbourhood "jamaah surau" went to several houses for Marhaban. It was Chichi's first experience ever. He was so excited about it and I'm happy to see him feel comfortable socializing with our neighbours. It's good for his social skills as I really deem that social skills are as much as important as any other skills or knowledge for a person to gain success in life. Learning how to communicate and interact with others and the manners of visiting peoples' houses, are equally essential as learning to write, read and count. I was brought up in a family who loves visiting relatives and friends, and also hosting "open houses", gathering or entertaining visitors. I really hope that I can raise my children in this kind of environment and experiences. 

Hubby suggested that we invite the Marhaban group to our house on Tuesday nite (last nite). He even promised to take over the cooking tasks and help me out with the preparation. Our intention was purely to enhance the brotherhood and "silaturrahmi" among our neighbors, and this is a chance for the others to come to our "simple and plain" home (all the neighbors' houses are so nicely furnished and decorated, not like ours). Despite my condition (the swollen feet and backache in late pregnancy), I happily agreed to his idea.

So, yesterday, hubby came home at 1 pm to prepare the meal for the Marhaban group. Since he didin't have much time, he only cooked "sup tulang rusuk", which was to be eaten with "roti peranchis". Then around 3.30, he sent me to the clinic for my antenatal checkup appointment. He rushed then to his office again for some works untill 5, fetched me from the clinic, sent me home and straight away attended an important meeting cum Raya gathering untill Maghrib. In the meantime, I prepared the house, did some cleaning and furniture re-arranging. 

Hubby also bought some "satay kajang". Right after Isya', the group arrived. To my surprise, there were almost more than 30 people! It was totally over our estimation and expectation. I became so nervous cos we only prepared food for about 20 people, including us! I didn't have much time to cook extra meal. We never thought that we would be receiving a lot of guests....never thought that they would be interested to come to our simple home! On Sunday, there were only about 20 persons, so I thought during weekdays, people might be busy working, thus they wouldn't join the Marhaban tour. O...I was totally wrong!

However, as Rasulullah s.a.w. said in one of his hadith: "The food for a man is enough for two, the food for two is enough for four, the food for four is enough for eight"; alhamdulillah the food that we prepared is technically enough for everyone, especially the guests. Actually, I've never heard of this hadith before. It was Afafita who taught me this hadith. She learned it at school and keep on reciting it over and over again at home. MasyaAllah..the connotation of the hadith is absolutely true. The most important thing is our sincere intention.  

After the guests went, hubby did all the cleaning and chores. He wanted me to rest, so he took over my jobs despite the hectic day he had gone through. I was supposed to feel happy and took this opportunity to bully him (something that I couldn't do before), but surprisingly, I felt guilty of not being able to carry out my responsibilities. I felt that I was not a good wife. That's the typical me. Eventhough I always complaining and nagging, hoping for helping hands from others with the chores and daily routine, but deep down in my heart, I would feel guilty if I couldn't do my responsibilities.

So..beruntunglah my hubby dpt i. I'm not the type of woman who will love to take advantage on the husband. heheh....

 

Belum lagi...

Belum lagi.

Masih terboyot2 ke sana sini..around the house...doing the chores, doing some errands, etc. But it seems like my belly is becoming smaller, not bigger. It looks like a very cute, round and compact ball! I wonder how the little "human" inside curling herself in this small belly. The swollen feet has subsided, alhamdulillah. Some people said that if the bengkak is no longer there...it means the time is arriving sooo soon. That's one of the the ways our grandmas know when to expect their delivery day without all the hi tech ultrasound machine.

The nesting instinct is very high currently. last weekend was declared as the "cleaning days", and the whole family members spent hours on making the house germ-proof and dust-proof as much as we could for the arrival of our new family member. Thanks to my husband and all my kids for their cooperation and teamwork, helping me out with the house cleaning project. Thanks also for bearing with my yelling and cerewet attitude. heheh.  At last, I've packed my hospital bag and the baby's bag several days ago, something which I've been wanting to do much earlier, but couldn't find time to accomplish it. I've also bought a baby bath tub from a nearby "baby house" store. So....I think by now, all the new arrival's essential needs and equipments are complete. (yelah..dh habis duit more than RM500 setakat nie...manalah tak complete. Tu pun tak beli baby carrier and baby cot lagi).

My studies has been in the pause mode for more than a week, due to the swollen feet and other chores. I've completed one of my report write-up, but still I didn't submit it to the professor. Hubby was very the very busy last week, so tak sampai hati nak suruh submit the assignment. 

Last Sunday, Chichi's best friend form kindergaten days paid a visit. It was really unexpected. They came from JB and spent time for almost two hours at out house. Chichi was so happy, and I also feel that it's good for him to still be in contact with his childhood friends. I hope he won't end up like me...who has lost contact with all friends. 

Ok.

Anxiety filled me up nowadays. Every second, every hour, I keep on thinking of the "day" and "time" I've been waiting for almost nine months ago. What will happen? How is it going to be? Is it going to be a normal one? Could I bear the pain? Is it going to happen in the middle of the night, or in daytime? If the time arrives....who's going to look after Chichi and Afafita? ...etc...etc.....etc.....

May Allah give me the strength and help me out during the labour. Amin.  

Kaki dah bengkak....

Aduh....kaki dah mula bengkak2 nie...paling lama boleh duduk kat meja study cuma sejam jer..pas sejam jer...kaki akan mula bengkak, mcm kaki gajah pun ada! Jadi besar, square dan ketat sangat. sejak balik dari kampung beraya(since masuk minggu 36 nie) tetiba jer dpt simptom baru nie. Tak selesa rasanya....mood nak berkemas pun dah berkurangan sebab bdn dah rasa berat semacam....kaki cepat lenguh. Semalam baru basuh semua pakaian baby menggunakna detergent khas untuk baby clothes dan siapkan beg baby. Bag Mama mia untk ke hospital tak siap lagi pun. Begpun takder yg sesuai. Takkan nak bawak baeg luggage trolley gi hospital..tkaut org tgk over pulak..tapi itu jer bag pakaian yg ad kat rumah ni.

Seminggu nie Mama Mia ponteng kelas..sebab MALAS sgt nak gi kelas. Lagipun kaki nie asyik bengkak..manalah tahan duduk dlm lecture room 3 jam straight! Lagipun tingal minggu nie and minggu depan jer ada kelas..sebab pastu dah revision week. So rasanya, dah tau semua kerja2 yg perlu dibuat..tak perlah ponteng kelas. Ada excuse..boleh ckp jer kat lecturer dah sarat sgt nie....and boleh jer mintak MC ngan gynae...dia mesti bagi kerjasama punya.

Afafita dah 2 hari dah demam..tonsil and selsema. last month baru kena..now kena lagi. Nampaknya dia mewarisi penyakit Mama Mia..yg setiap bulan akan bengkak tonsil time kecik2 dulu. Dlm pada sibuk2 nak buat seberapa bnyk kerja study before maternity leave nie..kena pulak layan karenah dia. Apa nak buat..dah takdir..cubaan betul.

Mama Mia tak siap lagi satu assignment yg supposed kena hantar dlm minggu nie. Hopefully dpt siapkan harinie gak..so that tomorrow boleh mintak tlg Papa hantarkan ke lecturer Mama Mia. Kalau sempat siap, alhamdulillah...tinggal dua lagi assignments yg besar dan berat kena siapkan..tpai rasanya hanya akan disiapkan lepas bersalin nanti.

Cici pulak minggu nie revision week cos next week start final exam. Mama Mia kenalah ajar dia dari sekarang..sebab takut besok lusa terbersalin..nanti tkader org nak tgk2kan pelajaran dia..kesian pulak. Kalau dah bersalin..dia pun kelam kabut jugak...sebab dia pun tentu excited ngn new baby insyaallah.


Mama dah suh Pap siapkan seberapa banyak kerja2 opis dia..cos cuti isteri bersalin kan seminggu. so...takut kerja2 opis tergendala. dahlah maid nampaknya tak sampai2...mak pulak tak dapat nak jaga Mama mia lelama pas bersalin unless kalau Mama mia balik kampung.....so nampak gayanya kenalah Papa yg jaga....hehe


Kalau boleh nak bersalin pas bebudak nie exam , around 23-24 oktoberlah. (boleh ker pilih2 tarikh?hehhe). lagipun next week nak ikut Papa gi tidur hotel kat PJ..five star.....2 mlm free sebab Papa ada program. Dah lama tak tidur hotel.sejak balik dar Pangkor time pregnant 5
bulan. Rindu rasanya nak tidur hotel 5 star..last year...sampai dah naik muak dan penat keluar masuk hotel mewah..this year..sebab pregnant..tak der chance sgtlah.

Emm...byk nak kena buat kerja..tapi malas yg teramat. nak masak pun dah malas dah....mudah2an bersalin selepas kerja2 penting dpt diselesaikan.

Ignorance...

Why grade-schoolers ignore their parents

You ask your grade-schooler to put away his construction set, but he continues building bridge after tunnel after roadway. Or you tell him to hang up his towel after showering — and he leaves it lying in a heap on the bathroom floor. Why is he ignoring you?

Two things may be going on here: "Grade-schoolers can be so intensely focused on play that they're unable to make room for your requests," says Roni Leiderman, associate dean of the Family Center at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale. On the other hand, kids this age are developing their own opinions about you — and your "stupid" rules — and it's much easier to simply ignore you than it is to resist or concede. The key is getting your grade-schooler to cooperate while giving him space to practice his independence.

What to do when your grade-schooler ignores you

Be clear and realistic. Make sure your requests are specific and doable. If you say, "Clean the garage," your grade-schooler may manage to push the clutter around a bit. But if you say, "Please sweep the floor and stack the newspapers in a neat pile for recycling," he'll know exactly what to do. Try to be specific about what you expect in the way of timing, too. It's better to tell him to be in bed by nine than to warn him not to stay up too late — after all, chances are good that his definition of "too late" is different from yours!

Since some tasks can still seem pretty daunting to a child this age — and because it's easy to assume that grade-schoolers know more than they actually do — it might also help to lead him through a big job for the first time. If he's never weeded the flowerbed before, show him how to differentiate the bad guys from the heirloom wildflowers and how to pull them up by the roots. Not only does this provide real bonding time for you and your grade-schooler, but the next time you ask him to weed there'll be no doubt in your mind that he knows how.

Simplify your requests. You grade-schooler may be ignoring you because he doesn't understand what you're asking him to do. Try to keep your directives simple, with no more than three or four steps at most ("Please go to the upstairs bathroom, look under the sink, and bring the bandages back to me").

Follow through. If you ask your grade-schooler to get dressed before school, encourage every step he makes toward that goal. If he refuses, simply lead him to the car with shoes in hand. When you ask him not to bounce the ball in the house and he keeps using the walls as a backboard, take it away from him until he's ready to cooperate.

Motivate your grade-schooler. The truth is, we're all tempted to answer, "Because I said so!" when our youngster baits us once too often. But there are better ways to motivate your child to cooperate with your requests. Try to remember that you don't want him to do the right thing because he's afraid not to. You want him to do the right thing because he wants to. Grade-schoolers love to please, so compliments and encouragement will go a long way toward getting yours to comply with your wishes. ("Zach, thank you so much for fixing your own breakfast" or "Wow, you really are growing up, aren't you?")

You might also give your grade-schooler an incentive for doing what you ask: "When you put the puzzle pieces back in the box, we can go shoot some hoops." (Hint: Don't say "If you put the puzzle pieces in the box.") A child this age may also get a kick out of having a written contract that states: Sam will hang up his towel and put his clothes in the hamper every time he takes a shower. When he has done this for seven days in a row, Mom will take him swimming with a friend. Sign it, let him color it or add computer graphics, and then post the contract where he can see it. He'll not only feel included in the process, your grade-schooler will appreciate the level of responsibility the contract bestows on him.

Use alternatives to "no." If your child ignores you when you tell him no, maybe it's because he hears it too often. Try other approaches to the N-word. Rather than barking, "No! Don't kick the ball in the kitchen," for instance, say, "Please go play ball in the yard." And instead of saying, "No, you can't have a piece of candy now," tell him, "You can pick something from the fruit bowl," or "You can have some dessert after lunch." When you give a child a choice, you're giving him a chance to assert himself in an acceptable way.

Say yes instead of no whenever you can, too, and take every opportunity to encourage rather than dissuade him. If he's excited about the idea of painting his own room, for instance, respond by saying, "Sure, you can try!" or "Daddy will help you" — which both sound a lot more positive than "I don't think so."

Naturally, there will be plenty of times when you have to be firm about stopping him from eating sweets before dinner or playing computer games 'til midnight. The point is, choose your battles and put your foot down only when you must. If you provide an environment that's both safe and stimulating (the YMCA as opposed to Grandma's china-filled living room, for instance), your youngster can exercise his independence with few holds barred.

Try to be understanding. Imagine you're reading a novel or chatting with a friend when, all of a sudden, you're ordered to stop what you're doing because something else has to be done right now. The reality is that we don't always have time to cajole our grade-schoolers into the car or beg them to get ready for school. But whenever possible, it really helps to give your youngster notice before you rush him into the next activity or errand: "We're leaving in ten minutes, honey, so finish up." If your child is like most, he still won't be thrilled about having to wrap up a baseball game or leave a party, but at least he's had fair warning that it's time to switch gears.

If your grade-schooler seems to ignore you more often than he listens, talk to his pediatrician about the problem. The doctor may recommend a hearing test or other developmental evaluations.

The 36 weeks...

How your baby's growing:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

How your life's changing:

Now that your baby is taking up so much room, you may have trouble eating a normal-size meal. Smaller, more frequent meals are often easier to handle at this point. On the other hand, you may have less heartburn and have an easier time breathing when your baby starts to "drop" down into your pelvis. This process — called lightening — often happens a few weeks before labor if this is your first baby. (If you've given birth before, it probably won't happen before labor starts.) If your baby drops, you may also feel increased pressure in your lower abdomen, which may make walking increasingly uncomfortable, and you'll probably find that you have to pee even more frequently. If your baby is very low, you may feel lots of vaginal pressure and discomfort as well. Some women say it feels as though they're carrying a bowling ball between their legs!

You might also notice that your Braxton Hicks contractions are more frequent now. Be sure to review the signs of labor with your practitioner and find out when she wants to hear from you. As a general rule, if you're full-term, your pregnancy is uncomplicated, and your water hasn't broken, she'll probably have you wait to come in until you've been having contractions that last for about a minute each, coming every five minutes for an hour. Of course, you'll want to call right away if you notice a decrease in your baby's activity or think you're leaking amniotic fluid, or if you have any vaginal bleeding, fever, a severe or persistent headache, constant abdominal pain, or vision changes.

Even if you're enjoying an uncomplicated pregnancy, it's best to avoid flying (or any travel far from home) during your final month because you can go into labor at any time. In fact, some airlines won't let women on board who are due to deliver within 30 days of the flight.

Chores and Your Child: What to Expect and When

Children need chores. Helping out around the house teaches social and family responsibility. It gives your child a sense of accomplishment and pride and helps her learn practical skills. Contributing to the household also helps your child feel important, like one of the "team," while gently underscoring that she's not the center of the universe.

In the early preschool years, the real value is not so much getting things done around the house as it is instilling the helping habit. Two-, 3-, and 4-year-olds love to be helpers. Harnessing this natural impulse makes starting chores easy. As your child grows she can manage more complex tasks and start doing some independently.

• Don't underestimate your child. Parents often underestimate what their kids are able to do. As their child grows older, they may fall into the trap of doing things for her that the child is perfectly capable of managing on her own, whether it's making her own sandwich or cleaning up her room.
• 
  
  
• Build on basic personal responsibilities. Brushing teeth, using the potty, washing hands, and self-dressing are the first "jobs" most kids have. Most parents don't think twice about assigning these personal chores. Household chores also need to be in the mix, though, to teach social responsibility.
• 
  
  
• Find age-appropriate tasks. If a job is too difficult, your child will get frustrated and be unwilling to follow through. Also skip assigning chores that involve dangerous objects (like washing sharp knives) or breakables (emptying glasses from the dishwasher).
• 
  
  At 2, your child should be able to:
  • Place dirty clothes in a hamper
  • Put a dirty diaper in the bin
  • Pick up toys after playing with them
  • Place napkins on the table
  • Sort lights and darks for the laundry
  At 3, your child should be able to:
  • Sort socks by color or possibly match them
  • Water a plant
  • Feed a pet
  • Clean up her own spills
  • Get her own simple snack ready
  • Remove her own dish from the table
  • Help wash a car
  At 4, your child should be able to:
  • Set plates, forks, and napkins on the table
  • Remove silverware from the dishwasher
  • Fold towels
  • Dust
  • Help make her bed (smooth out bedspread neatly)
  • Remove wet towels from the floor
  • Pour milk
  • Help with food preparation
  • Sweep with a child-size broom
• Don't expect too much. Having a young child "help" may make your own chores take longer. Remember that you're setting the groundwork for the days when her contribution actually will help! All chores have a learning curve and preschoolers have short attention spans. Don't expect your child to follow through on chores every day without reminders — or to execute them well at first.
• 
  
  
• Keep it gender-neutral. Assign boys some of the kitchen chores, girls some outdoor jobs.
• 
  
  
• Be very specific. "Clean your room" is much too broad and overwhelming for a preschooler. Let your child know exactly what you expect ("Put your dirty clothes in the basket."). Show her how the first few times.
• 
  
  
• Don't overdirect. Announcing three or four chores all at once may confuse your child. She might forget the entire list or mix things up. Take it one chore at a time.
• 
  
  
• Keep it fun. The challenge with chores is that they tend to involve repetitive tasks. Once the novelty wears off, the drudgery kicks in. You can make chores fun for preschoolers by mixing up responsibilities from time to time.
• 
  
  Although your child is too young to read, consider a chore chart with pictograms that illustrate what needs to be done. Never underestimate the power of song for a preschooler, from Barney's "Clean Up" song to Snow White's "Whistle While You Work." Or make up your own silly tune about putting toys in the toy box or doing laundry.
  
  
• Don't redo the chore the "right" way. If the napkins are crooked on the table or the bedspread isn't perfectly smooth, you can live with that, right? Show your child the way something should be done and then let her finish it on her own. Redoing a task deflates her pride and makes her less inclined to want to help. ("Why does she need me?")
• 
  
  
• Praise a job well (enough) done. Preschoolers thrive on positive reinforcement. Be encouraging, not critical, as she works. Afterward, let your child know that you appreciated her efforts and that they matter. Tell her so in concrete ways: "When you set the table, it lets me do the cooking so we can eat sooner."
• 
  
  
• Don't pay for chores. Most preschoolers are too young to understand the value of money. Money in exchange for work has little meaning to them. Many financial experts frown on paying for routine household contributions anyway. The best reason for an allowance is to teach kids concepts like saving and making financial decisions. Paying for work defeats the higher purpose of chores, which is to teach the value of contributing to the household and develop pride in a job well done.

(www.parentcenter.babycenter.com)

Afafita dan Wafitos pun sekarang dah banyak diberi tugasan dlm kerja2 rumah. alhamdulillah, walaupun taklah perfect sgt apa yg dilakukan, tapi cukup untuk meringankan beban Mama Mia. Antara chores for Wafitos: water the plants, throw the rubbis, set up the table for dinner, sidai baju, angkat baju yg dah kering, kemas bilik sendiri, kumpulkan baju kotor dari semua bilik and bathrooms, polish book shleves, etc. Afafita pulak: kemas study room and lipat baju (she can really fold her clothes nicely), polish dining table, clear up the dining table after meal, water the plants, kemas sofa at living room (aranging the cushions and clear up the mess), etc.

Happy 5th Birthday Afafita....

For the past few years, Afafita's birthday fell in the month of Ramadhan. But this year, her fifth birthday fell on the 6th Syawal....so this time around, she had the chance to celebrate it. However, we didn't make a merry and grand celebration. It was just a small family cutting cake ceremony, for the purpose of taking some pictures. No balloons, no presents, no candle-blowing, no friends invited. My sisters bought a medium size blueberry cake and after singing the birthday song, we ate the cake! My dad's birthday is on 7th October, a day after Afafita's. So it was a celebration for them both.

Afafita, her brother and Iffato....with the Hari Raya hamper

The simple last minute birthday cake (si iffato pun sibuk nak potong cake)

Kakak, abang and Papat....happy jer..

(Thanks so much for coachsha yg bersusah payah dtg hantar birthday present for afafita....she really love it..although tak berapa pandai nak buat IQ blocks tu on her own..)

Eid 2008...

Tahun ini, hari raya disambut dgn penuh kesederhanaan. Anak2 cuma ada dua pasang baju casual setiap sorang, afafita dibeli sehelai jubah hitam sulam pink untuk solat raya, papa pakai baju melayu last year dan chichi beli baju melayu yg biasa jer(ready made) (biasanya kami tempah baju melayu sendiri..beli kain dari Singapore). Mama? Mama mia cuma pakai jubah hitam yg dah dua tahun ada kat dlm almari baju, yg dah biasa bawak gi seminar dan conference kat hotel2.

Sebenarnya, kesederhanaan kami tahun nie bukanlah semata2 kerana kemelesetan ekonomi dan juga kadar inflasi tinggi di negara kita nie, tapi jugak kerana mama mia takder mood nak beraya sgt. Tak excited..sebab tak dapat balik menyambut malam raya di kampung Mama mia dan jugak tak dpt merasai keseronokan membuat kuih muih raya ngan mak dan adik beradik lain sempena raya.

Beberapa hari sebelum raya, Mama mia asyik bertunggu tangga kat pintu dan tingkap rumah jer...tgk jiran2 sebelah menyebelah balik kampung. Sampailah ptg raya pun, kami sekeluarga masih tercanguk kat rumah...dahlah penat berkemas sorang2....sedih dan sayu jer. Rasa mcm nak nangis jer....bebudak nie bukannya bagi kerjasama sgt..asyik menyepahkan rumah. semuanya Mama mia kena buat sendiri..dari mengemas almari dapur, kemas living room, siapkan pakaian raya, basuh laundry, masak lauk untuk raya lagi...sgtlah stress...rasa mcm kat perantauan pulak. sumer buat sorang2........ptg raya tak riuh rendah mcm biasa....sunyi. Papa pulak sampai sehari sebelum raya pun masih gi opis....isy..isy....sabar jelah. Tensionnya.....!!!!


Malam raya pas isyak barulah kita gi rumah keluarga Papa.....and besoknya pas solat raya...kita jalan2 ziarah rumah adik beradik papa dan maksick..alah diorang duduk sekampung...pusing2 jer...cuma 3 rumah jer...bukannya ramai pun keluarga dia. Malam tu adalah acara bersalaman dan bermaafan... start kol 9 lebih sampailah kol 12. Then that night, kitorang balik semula tidur kat rumah sendiri....sunyi btl kawasan rumah kitaorang...hampir semua org takder except kitorang dan jiran chinese kita..nasiblah dia tak ke mana. Walaupun kawasan perumahan kita nie ada security guard..tapi takut gak.


Besok pagi2....kitorang masak spageti dan sup tulang. Adik beradik Papa nak dtg ziarah...kitorang yg jemput. diorang dtg dari kol 10 lebih sampailah kol 2. Ramai..dlm 20 lebih org. After they went home, kitorang bertungkus lumus berkemas.......sebab ptg tu nak ke JB...kampung Mama mia..mana boleh tinggalkan walau sekelumit sampah atau kotoran...nanti balik kampung beberapa hari, bila balik semula sini..habis rumah dah jadi sarang semut pulak. Penatnya..mcm nak terbersalin rasanya. basuh dan keringkan semua pinggan mangkuk, sapu rumah, buang sampah..siapkan lagi apa2 yg patut untuk bawak balik kampung.

So..kol 5 kami pun bertolak ke JB. Sampai dlm kol 8 pm, trus singgah rumah datuk..tapi dia takder..gi amsjid..so kami pun balik rumah my mom jer. (bukannya jauh pun..depan belakang jer). Besoknya...raya ke 3, Mama mia tak kemana...seharian kat rumah buat assignment sekolah mama mia. Papa pulak siapkan thesis correction dia yg nka submit on raya ke 6 nanti. Anak2 ikut my parents gi Muar dan Batu Pahat, beraya. Besoknya, all of us beraya kat Singapore. Bestnya. Makan sedap....mcm2 jenis..rasanya mama mia dah naik 2,3 kg dlm masa raya nie...hehehhe. mama mia makan tak henti....semua nak rasa dan bedal jer. The kids pulak dpt byk duit raya....singapore dollar...convert ke ringgit,,,,,berbaloi sungguh. Kami beraya di singapore dua hari..adalah dalam sebelas ker dua belas rumah kami pergi.

Then...isnin syawal ke 6 kami balik ke rumah semula. Hmmm...bermulalah semula rutin harian yg membosankan..tak bersemangat sungguh nak balik rumah sendiri. Terbayang kerja2 study yg berlambak...keadaan rumah yg sunyi takder kawan2......takder lagilah masa nak berehat dan makanan yg sedap2. apa nak buat..dah nasib...... Sampai jer rumah..serta merta bdn rasa tak sihat..masuk anginlah (padahal mkn punyalah byk), sakit perutlah..sakit kakilah...tapi takder tempat nak ngadu.

Afafita dan Wafitos after solat raya.....di Padang

The new born baby yg baru 2 weeks... Najah

Afafita and her female cousins....solat raya

Salam Lebaran...

Rasanya masih belum terlambat untuk ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Idilfitri kepada semua...

Semoga pemergian Ramadhan memberi seribu rahmat dan keinsafan

Dan Kedatangan Syawal membawa seribu kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan...

The 35 Weeks...

How your baby's growing:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

How your life's changing:

Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.



From here on out, you'll start seeing your practitioner every week. Sometime between now and 37 weeks, she'll do a vaginal and rectal culture to check for bacteria called Group B streptococci (GBS). (Don't worry — the swab is the size of a regular cotton swab, and it won't hurt at all.) GBS is usually harmless in adults, but if you have it and pass it on to your baby during birth, it can cause serious complications, such as pneumonia, meningitis, or a blood infection. Because 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women have the bacteria and don't know it, it's vital to be screened. (The bacteria come and go on their own — that's why you weren't screened earlier in pregnancy.) If you're a GBS carrier, you'll get IV antibiotics during labor, which will greatly reduce your baby's risk of infection.